Autism and Faith
What challenges your theology? I mean, what causes you to seriously evaluate your personal belief systems? Has anything ever pushed it to the limit? Anything ever made you struggle with doubt and confusion? If it has not yet, it probably will.
My son Mark challenges mine. Like any proud father, I had dreams and ambitions for my son even prior to his birth. I imagined his accomplishments and impact on this world. He was to be the third “arrow” fired from my bow. (Psalm 127:4). Then, autism shook my faith. I asked a million times, “Why, God?” I wondered to myself, “Is this punishment for my sins?” Later I would agonize over prayers for healing that went seemingly unanswered. I wondered (if only to myself) “God, do you still heal?” I learned that it is often easier to say the right things than to feel them or even believe them. It developed into a full-blown crisis of faith – no doubt. But then, God began to teach me. He began teaching me that my anguish is not the whole issue. It is my response to it. I had a fundamental choice. Would I continue to trust in the goodness and mercy and plans of God as I always had, or would I depart from my faith because of my situation? I chose the former.
I began to see other people’s struggles in a different light. I began to be (I hope) more compassionate. I began to see that people everywhere have issues and struggles that confront their faith. They may carry different names (like autism, cancer, addiction, etc.) but they all challenge us to get real with our faith or to get rid of it as false. I think life is too hard for false religion.
I perceive Mark differently now. You see, Mark is a remarkable child. He is intelligent, but you have to play close attention if you want to see it. He is full of love, but you will miss it if all you hear are words. He is insightful, always noticing everything around him, but because he is often silent, he himself goes unnoticed. I also see how he affects people. How he draws out the best in us. How he brings out love. He is God’s special gift and he is a sharp arrow that God is using.
Your crisis of faith – your personal theological mountain to climb – will either bring you to a place of profound rest in God, or it will drive you from the one place where you can find peace. If you cannot trust in God, in whom or what can you trust? I have decided to trust in Him.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
- Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)
My son Mark challenges mine. Like any proud father, I had dreams and ambitions for my son even prior to his birth. I imagined his accomplishments and impact on this world. He was to be the third “arrow” fired from my bow. (Psalm 127:4). Then, autism shook my faith. I asked a million times, “Why, God?” I wondered to myself, “Is this punishment for my sins?” Later I would agonize over prayers for healing that went seemingly unanswered. I wondered (if only to myself) “God, do you still heal?” I learned that it is often easier to say the right things than to feel them or even believe them. It developed into a full-blown crisis of faith – no doubt. But then, God began to teach me. He began teaching me that my anguish is not the whole issue. It is my response to it. I had a fundamental choice. Would I continue to trust in the goodness and mercy and plans of God as I always had, or would I depart from my faith because of my situation? I chose the former.
I began to see other people’s struggles in a different light. I began to be (I hope) more compassionate. I began to see that people everywhere have issues and struggles that confront their faith. They may carry different names (like autism, cancer, addiction, etc.) but they all challenge us to get real with our faith or to get rid of it as false. I think life is too hard for false religion.
I perceive Mark differently now. You see, Mark is a remarkable child. He is intelligent, but you have to play close attention if you want to see it. He is full of love, but you will miss it if all you hear are words. He is insightful, always noticing everything around him, but because he is often silent, he himself goes unnoticed. I also see how he affects people. How he draws out the best in us. How he brings out love. He is God’s special gift and he is a sharp arrow that God is using.
Your crisis of faith – your personal theological mountain to climb – will either bring you to a place of profound rest in God, or it will drive you from the one place where you can find peace. If you cannot trust in God, in whom or what can you trust? I have decided to trust in Him.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
- Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)
posted by Paul A. Thompson at
9:10 AM
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