Social Networking and Your Teenagers

Are your kids among the tens of millions of American teenagers using social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace?  If so, you might want to consider the wisdom of Vicki Courtney and her book and website Logged On and Tuned Out.  Here's an excerpt from chapter one:

Let’s face it—we all desire to be attentive and caring parents, but it becomes difficult when we can’t possibly keep up with friend/buddy lists that number in the hundreds, unlimited text messages, instant messages, and the World Wide Web with more than 990 million users. Where are our children going online? To whom are they talking? Who is talking to them? Are they talking to strangers? Are they surfing porn sites? Do they have a MySpace or Facebook page? Are they texting while they are driving? Are they texting during school hours? Do they have trashy hip-hop songs loaded on their iPods? Are they addicted to online gaming sites?

I wish we could take their annoying gadgets away! Let’s go back to the pre-wired days where there were only three TV channels, cassette tapes that held about twelve songs, and a home phone tethered to the wall in the middle of the living room. At least then Mom and Dad had a good idea of who their kids’ friends were and what they were up to because they were the mighty gatekeepers when the home phone rang. Nowadays, kids don’t even know one another’s home phone numbers because they have cell phones and can contact one another at all hours of the day or night. And what, may I ask you, is wrong with Pong, Atari, and PacMan? Our kids don’t know what they’re missing!

Let’s face it—we are riding shotgun when it comes to technology. For years I have counted on my kids to change the ring tone on my cell phone or reboot the computer when the screen froze up. Is it really necessary to step in and get involved in their media-saturated worlds? You bet it is. The average teen spends more than seventy-two hours a week using electronic media (Internet, cell phones, television, music, and video games).

Among the other good stuff you'll find there is this common sense online contract:  

Consider using the tips below as an online contract and have your teen initial each tip as a  

personal pledge to honor the boundaries.  Let your teen know that you will be bookmarking  

his or her page and checking the content from time to time.  Emphasize that it is not an issue  

of not trusting them but rather an issue of concern for their safety.  (Note: This assumes your  

child has met minimum age requirements.)  

- Vicki  

1.  Use the privacy controls and set your page to private (MySpace only).  Your friends will still  

be able to locate you and send a request to be added to your friend list.  

2.  Never share your last name, city, phone numbers, screen name, e mail address, or other  

information that would make it easy for strangers to identify you or contact you  

one on one (like in person!)  

3.  Read over your profile to see if you have disclosed information that would enable a stalker  

or predator to track you down.  

4.  Make sure your pictures are appropriate.  Never upload pictures in swimsuits, pajamas, or  

undergarments.  Do not pose suggestively or seductively.  

5.  Limit your friend list to real friends.  Who needs five hundred or more online strangers as  

friends anyway?  

6.  When it comes to the comments others post on your wall/page/pictures, remember that  

you will be judged by the company you keep.  In other words, “you are who you hang out  

with.”  

7.  One in five kids between the ages of ten and seventeen have been solicited for sex online.  

If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable online, tell your parents!  If you receive a sexual  

solicitation, copy and paste it in an e mail and send it to CyberTipline.com.  

8.  Keep in mind that many schools, teachers, colleges, employers, and other organizations  

are searching MySpace and FaceBook for information about potential students or  

employees.  

9.  Remember that information you delete never really goes away.  The pages are archived,  

and many are accessible free of charge to the public.  

10.When it comes to the social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, 1 Chronicles  

29:11 sums it up nicely: “Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and  

the splendor and the majesty, for everything in the heavens and on earth belongs to You.  

Yours, LORD, is the kingdom, and You are exalted as head over all.”  We would all be wise  

to remember that all space is really “his space.”  

Signed: ________________________________     Date: _______________________