Could you ignore this beach?

See this beach above this post?  Pretty spectacular, isn't it?  The golden brown sand, the turquoise water, the clear blue sky ... kinda makes you want to take a vacation, right?  Or at least makes you wish for some tropical weather wherever you are.

You might think I picked this beach from stock photos online, simply because it's so picturesque, but I didn't.  It's actually a picture taken on Hutchinson Island, Jensen Beach, FL, just a couple of miles from where I live and where I have lived for about 12 years now.  

So - what's the point?  Well ... I was thinking as I logged on tonight that I hardly ever see that beach.  The last time I was there was to baptize 22 people last month, and before that, the beginning of the summer, and before that - well, it had been awhile.  I like knowing it's there and I can't imagine living anywhere a beach isn't close by, but I still rarely walk on it, enjoy it, or even give it a thought most days.  There is just something about human nature that seems to cause us to undervalue and underappreciate the incredible stuff that is right under our noses!  Even as I just KNOW I will one day miss this beach and regret not taking a day off occasionally and sitting on it reading - another love I have that I rarely engage in anymore - but still I don't go.  

It's not just nearby beaches that we ignore and take for granted.  (It can also be mountains - which i sorely miss from my Mars Hill College/UNC Asheville days, but I digress.)  Sometimes it is gifts far more valuable and far more fleeting.  Like kids.  Family.  Spouses.  They are sooo close by, and even as we KNOW we will one day regret not squeezing every ounce of time we can with them, we don't.  We're too busy.  "Life" is too demanding.  But what are we doing?  I mean, really - what are we doing?  Will we even remember what kept us so busy or took so much time or precedence for us way back when?  I doubt it.  I can't even remember what took my time away from those I love last week.  

I am admittedly probably writing more for my benefit than yours, but here's what I think.  I think you ought to take stock of the good stuff all around you.  People.  Family.  Friends.  And then the other stuff - like the beach you wish you'd walked on more, or the trail you wished you'd climbed, or the whatever you wish you had whatevered.  And then I think you ought to do now what it is you will wish you had done later.  

That's what I'm going to do.  Tomorrow, instead of shopping for stuff nobody needs and spending money I don't have with 18 million psycho, over-caffeinated, door-busting, early-rising, kamikaze shoppers, I'm going to take my dog to that beach.  And then I'm going to watch a movie with my kids.  And then I'm going out with my wife.  And I'm going to be glad - at least for tomorrow - that I didn't ignore what God has given me.  

Happy Thanksgiving.

Autism and Faith

What challenges your theology? I mean, what causes you to seriously evaluate your personal belief systems? Has anything ever pushed it to the limit? Anything ever made you struggle with doubt and confusion? If it has not yet, it probably will.

My son Mark challenges mine. Like any proud father, I had dreams and ambitions for my son even prior to his birth. I imagined his accomplishments and impact on this world. He was to be the third “arrow” fired from my bow. (Psalm 127:4). Then, autism shook my faith. I asked a million times, “Why, God?” I wondered to myself, “Is this punishment for my sins?” Later I would agonize over prayers for healing that went seemingly unanswered. I wondered (if only to myself) “God, do you still heal?” I learned that it is often easier to say the right things than to feel them or even believe them. It developed into a full-blown crisis of faith – no doubt. But then, God began to teach me. He began teaching me that my anguish is not the whole issue. It is my response to it. I had a fundamental choice. Would I continue to trust in the goodness and mercy and plans of God as I always had, or would I depart from my faith because of my situation? I chose the former.

I began to see other people’s struggles in a different light. I began to be (I hope) more compassionate. I began to see that people everywhere have issues and struggles that confront their faith. They may carry different names (like autism, cancer, addiction, etc.) but they all challenge us to get real with our faith or to get rid of it as false. I think life is too hard for false religion.

I perceive Mark differently now. You see, Mark is a remarkable child. He is intelligent, but you have to play close attention if you want to see it. He is full of love, but you will miss it if all you hear are words. He is insightful, always noticing everything around him, but because he is often silent, he himself goes unnoticed. I also see how he affects people. How he draws out the best in us. How he brings out love. He is God’s special gift and he is a sharp arrow that God is using.

Your crisis of faith – your personal theological mountain to climb – will either bring you to a place of profound rest in God, or it will drive you from the one place where you can find peace. If you cannot trust in God, in whom or what can you trust? I have decided to trust in Him.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
- Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)

Seriously. What is this?

Pardon the totally worthless blog post today, but I have to know something.  What is this thing Fox Sports punishes us with during every football game?  

I mean seriously.  What is the point?  Has there ever been ANY icon/image/mascot more annoying than this?  And it gets worse.  On Thanksgiving, he'll be dressed as a turkey or something.  I don't get it.  Somebody help me with this.

Thanksgiving Safety Advice

Some of you are probably planning to cook your Thanksgiving turkey a little differently than the old, tried and true - certain to create a dry, barely edible bird - method of oven roasting.  Perhaps you will go the route of deep-frying.  It is certainly gaining in popularity and will make you seem a lot cooler to the kids.  If you do, allow me (and my safety-conscious brother) to offer you the following illustrated safety tips:

1) Make sure you are properly attired.  You will be working with several gallons of boiling peanut oil.  Notice here the bare feet and my brother standing at a distance.  He probably fears that the raging open flame of my gas cooker will ignite an explosion from the car that is just inches outside this picture.  I think the lawn mower is pretty close, too.  And maybe some old newspapers.

2. To insure even cooking and good coverage of the bird, hold it high over the boiling oil and drop it quickly into the pot.  Yes - oil will splash out all over you, but you know the saying ... you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet (or something like that).   At least my elbow is protected.

3. Have a buddy.  Or a brother.  Somebody to share the moment with you.  You will definitely want to stare at the turkey until its done.  It's fascinating.  No seriously.  It is.  Trust me.  Don't miss a second.  

4. Finally, be prepared for the unexpected.  You'll notice my brother has a large, sharp knife in his hand.  I'm really not sure why.  I'm pretty sure the turkey was dead.  Yes, I'm positive now that I think of it.  You will also notice that he too is barefooted.  And that we are standing downhill on a sloped driveway.  When that oil boils over - and it will - guess where it's going.  Oh - and I nearly forgot.  Wear clothes you don't mind ruining.  You'll notice I am wearing a t-shirt that has absolutely no value to me. 

And for those of you up nawth --- be jealous.  Be very jealous.  Yes - we are cooking a turkey outside, in late November, barefooted.  (I can't tell from this picture, but I think my brother may be wearing swim trunks.  Or boxers.  Can't really say.)

This year, maybe we'll make an instructional video.

Not sold on The Shack

I was invited by a good friend to read The Shack this summer. I knew it was rising on the bestseller lists, but I'm not a big follower of trendy reads, nor am I a fan of fiction. Occasionally I'll read some vapid, just-for-fun stuff on vacation, but my time is so limited, I have to pretty much limit myself to reading stuff that matters. But after being challenged to "open my mind and turn off my superior theological knowledge", I knew I had to read this. When I got the book and read this outrageous endorsement right there on the bottom of the front cover "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his", I knew I had to jump in immediately. After all, Pilgrim's Progress is one of my all-time favorite books, having greatly influenced me and millions of others. I mean it is a legitimate classic of the faith. So I started reading. Better late than never right? But before I share my thoughts on this book with you, allow me to pass along some reviews of some pastors/theologians/teachers whom I respect very much. These men are prominent, respected, well-read champions of the faith. I say that to say their opinions ought to matter to you. Even if you don't agree, carefully and thoughtfully consider what they have to say.


You can view Mark Driscoll's comments on video here. He is an author and well-known pastor, leading Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. If I knew how to imbed this, I would. Take a moment to watch this - it's worth it.


Dr. Michael Youseff, founding pastor of The Church of The Apostles and author of more than 20 books, the most recent being 15 Secrets to a Wonderful Life, reveals 13 heresies in The Shack. In his article on the book, he states:

"After reading the popular novel, The Shack, I find it necessary to bring to light some of its errors. The book is like a deep ditch covered with beautiful flowers — and sadly, many Christians are falling into this ditch."

"One of the most devastating aspects of this book, The Shack, is the absolute disrespect and disregard for God by the main character. When Isaiah saw a glimpse of God's glory, he was so overwhelmed that he cried out, "Woe to me for I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips and dwell in the midst of people who of unclean lips. For my eyes have seen the king, the Lord of Hosts."

"The author of The Shack not only presents a false view of God; he mocks the importance and the uniqueness of the Bible. He makes the Bible equal to whatever your personal imagination says about God."

You can view Dr. Youseff's entire message here. You can also download his comparison chart that reveals the 13 heresies.


Next, here's some of what prominent theologian Norman Geisler -- who is a Christian apologist and philosopher and serves as President of Southern Evangelical Seminary, in Charlotte, NC -- has to say about The Shack:

The Shack may do well for many in engaging the current culture, but not without compromising Christian truth. The book may be psychologically helpful to many who read it, but it is doctrinally harmful to all who are exposed to it. It has a false understanding of God, the Trinity, the person and work of Christ, the nature of man, the institution of the family and marriage, and the nature of the Gospel. For those not trained in orthodox Christian doctrine, this book is very dangerous. It promises good news for the suffering but undermines the only Good News (the Gospel) about Christ suffering for us. In the final analysis it is only truth that is truly liberating. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32). A lie may make one feel better, but only until he discovers the truth. This book falls short on many important Christian doctrines. It promises to transform people’s lives, but it lacks the transforming power of the Word of God (Heb. 4:12) and the community of believers (Heb. 10:25). In the final analysis, this book is not a Pilgrim’s Progress, but doctrinally speaking The Shack is more of a Pilgrim’s Regress.

Next up is Al Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, and one of the respected author/thinker/theologians of our time. He said this about The Shack:

“This book includes undiluted heresy."  

"This book simply, by any measure, falls far short of biblical Christianity.” 

“Regardless of intention (I can’t read the [author's] heart), I can tell you that the effect of the book is indeed deeply subversive of the Christian faith, and I think inherently seductive as well.”

You can listen to his entire radio program on the subject here.


In yet another thorough review of the book, author (The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment) Tim Challies states:

"... from beginning to end, The Shack has a quietly subversive quality to it. The author very subtly criticizes many aspects of the church and contemporary Christianity before replacing the concepts he criticizes with new ones. He criticizes seminary education (“Mack struggled to keep up with [Papa], to make some sense of what was happening. None of his old seminary training was helping in the least” (91).), the Bible (“God’s voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects” (65-66).), Sunday School (“This isn’t Sunday School. This is a flying lesson” (98).), the church as a body (“You’re talking about the church as this woman you’re in love with; I’m pretty sure I haven’t met her…She’s not the place I go on Sundays” (177).), the church as individuals (“For Mack these words were like a breath of fresh air! Simple. Not a bunch of exhausting work and long list of demands and not the sitting in endless meetings staring at the backs of people’s heads, people he really didn’t even know. Just sharing life” (178).), family devotions (“Images of family devotions from his childhood came spilling into his mind, not exactly good memories…He half expected Jesus to pull out a huge old King James Bible” (107).), theological certainty (“I have a great fondness for uncertainty [said Sarayu]” (203).), the word “Christian” as a descriptor (“Who said anything about being a Christian? I'm not a Christian [said Jesus]” (182).) and on and on." (parts in bold mine)

"Despite the Bible's testimony to its own unique qualities, the majority of The Shack's references to Scripture are negative in their tone. They do not affirm the Bible as God’s perfect revelation to us, but instead focus on its abuse at the hands of those who profess Christ or on supposed old-fashioned notions about it."

"We are left with an incomplete gospel; a gospel message that says little of sin and of justice. It is a gospel message that says nothing of how we may be saved from the sin that pollutes us. The Shack also muddles the concept of redemption."

"Taken together, Young’s muddying of redemption and his incomplete gospel message presents a troubling view of salvation. The Shack certainly does not make plain what is made plain in the Bible--that Jesus Christ is the one and the only way to be reconciled to the Father and this only by faith in Him. The book presents less than the full gospel message. It teaches that God died for the sins of the whole world and that He now waits for us to respond to this potential gift. It teaches that God does not punish sin, but that sin is sufficient punishment in itself. It opens the possibility that people can come to God in ways other than a saving faith in Jesus Christ. It obfuscates the doctrine of salvation that the Bible makes so clear and so central. It muddies the very heart of the faith."

You can read and download Tim's entire review here.


He describes much of what I also have noticed: How Young's book badly misses the mark in describing the Trinity, how "God" is depicted in anthropomorphic ways that render him less of a God and more of a peer - a peer who can be angrily shouted at and even cursed at. Young's book also diminishes the very character, nature and holiness of God. Young's "God" is largely impotent: "I have no magic wand to wave over you and make it all better." (p. 92) He is also devoid of other attributes of sovereignty such as omniscience: "The three (Young's bizarre "trinity") looked at each other as if they had never thought of such a question" (p. 121). Orthodox and clear teaching on salvation, redemption and atonement are also dreadfully lacking. Most noticeable to me (and offensive as well) is the underlying current of the book that implies that all you know, have been taught, and/or believed is not true.

While many Christians have enjoyed and may yet enjoy the book, understand that to do so means they must filter what Young says and re-interpret it to fit orthodoxy. We as bible-believing Christians take what he has said and view it thru lenses of what we already know and believe, but taken alone, it is at best confusing theologically (think of a novice Christian or a non-Christian reading this ... could they understand the real Gospel? Could they understand Biblical salvation? Would they revere the Word of God? Would they love the Bride of Christ - the Church? Or would they be confused by this new age rethink of the Gospel?) and is at worst heresy and blatant deception.

In the end, I found the Shack to present a impotent, insufficient, unknowing, all-too-human "God" that looks little like the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient Creator, Savior, Judge, King of the Bible.

Take some time to read what these intellectual/theological/spiritual giants have said and consider carefully The Shack. These are not pop preachers with dubious theology or (or no theological training at all). These are biblical, theological stalwarts that are influencing, teaching, and leading millions.  These are heavyweights in the arena of the ongoing battle for truth.

On a final note: Do yourself a favor and go get a copy of Pilgrim's Progress and read it a few times. You won't be disappointed.

Porn Again Christian

If you look at porn, have looked at porn, or know someone that looks at porn —download this book, print it out, and read it. Be forewarned: It is blunt, pointed, and untamed. But if you are struggling with this powerfully addictive sin (or you care about someone who is), this tool might be just what you or they need.

This resource by the outstanding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Mark Driscoll is available online as a FREE DOWNLOAD.

NOTE: This booklet is aimed at MEN and includes very frank discussions and Q and A's. Thanks for not pulling your punches Mark.


Here is Mark's note on the book from his facebook page:

I became a Christian at the age of nineteen, started doing ministry as a Bible study leader almost immediately, and planted Mars Hill Church in the fall of 1996 at the age of twenty-five. Prior to my conversion, I had been sexually active and looked at porn. These were the first sins I remember being deeply convicted of as a new Christian and by God’s grace I have been able to walk away from those sins and to Jesus.

Over the years, much of my ministry has been to men in general, and young, single men in particular. The least likely person to go to church in virtually every nation, including my own, is a single man between the ages of eighteen and thirty-four. These guys are a priority for me.

As our church began growing, I started pulling these guys together for “boot camps” to speak to them off the record with plain speech about real issues of being men. The guys were responsive and very few had a dad, let alone a Christian dad, and they were clueless about why God made men.

What started as a handful of guys has now grown to a large church that is half single and half married, half male and half female. We have thousands of single men ages eighteen to thirty-four who call Mars Hill home, which is a miracle since we are in one of the least churched cities in our nation and statistically the least likely city in the nation where these guys would attend church. Most of them are new Christians who meet Jesus while in sexual sin of every sort and are fighting to get dominion over their pants.

To help these guys, some years ago I sat down and in one day wrote a small booklet about male sexuality that we published in-house. Since then we have gone through thousands of copies and literally cannot keep it in stock. I asked some Christian publishers if they wanted it, and they said it was too hot to handle and so they declined.

So, I decided to just put it online and give it away for free. I hope this thing goes nuts and hundreds of thousands of guys read it.

In closing, I want to say two things. One, a lot of folks will not like the content or tone of this book and I love them and wish them well. You get what you pay for and this is free. Two, a lot of young guys (and some older guys too) tell me they have been helped by this content and if God uses it to help some guys I would be overjoyed with that. So, let the critics fire away and I’ll gladly take the shots for the guys who are walking wounded in an effort to help them get their shield up and sword sharpened.

Until we see Jesus,
Pastor Mark Driscoll

Can you be good without God?

From an article on foxnews.com:

You better watch out. There is a new combatant in the Christmas wars.
Ads proclaiming, "Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake," will appear on Washington, D.C., buses starting next week and running through December. The American Humanist Association unveiled the provocative $40,000 holiday ad campaign Tuesday.

The provocative ad campaign begs the question: Can you be good without God?

One of the most contentious debates I ever had with a self-avowed "atheist" (I use quotations because he was actually an agnostic - he wasn't sure what he believed, nor did he - like most so-called "atheists" even really understand the distinction) was on the subject of "goodness".  My basic premise was simple - God is good defined, and as such, He is the basis of all human morality (goodness).  Therefore, the absence of God is the necessary absence of good.  He vehemently argued otherwise.  It was a great offense to him (feigned or real - I cannot be sure) that I would imply or suggest that atheists could not be "good people" - even better than most Christians he had ever known, he claimed.  

The real issue here of course is what we mean by "good".  What is the standard or measurement?  Is it subjective - whatever I deem goodness to be - or is it objective - based on a timeless standard or truth?  I argue for the latter.  

What's your take?  What does it mean to be "good"?  And is God a necessary component of human goodness?  I'm putting this one up on the tee to see who wants to take a swing at it.  I'll opine later!

"10 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage"

I saw this article online today and thought I'd offer a little counter opinion. Now, I am no marriage counselor, psychologist, or even an expert on the subject. I have stresses and struggles in my marriage like anyone else. But one thing I do have is the pastoral perspective forged from the impact of many conversations with people whose marriages are in great duress, or who have already divorced and are now trying to recover. So with my limited experience in mind (and armed with a few pertinent verses from the Bible) I want to offer a slightly revised list of the ten bad habits. First however is the afore-mentioned list from "LifeScript":


1. Not having sex.

2. Letting yourself go.

3. Spending too much time with the in-laws

4. Spending too much time with friends, work, hobbies

5. Not consulting your partner about purchases

6. Forgetting the small gestures

7. Criticizing and nagging endlessly

8. Always playing the victim

9. Sweating the small stuff

10. Not fighting fair



Now ... here humbly submitted is my list:

1. Pornography.
Far and away the biggest marriage killer I see is pornography. Often touted now by the so-called "experts" as a marital aid or a tool to rekindle a passionless marriage, it is in fact a deadly fire that destroys individuals and families. The above list mentions absence of sex as a marriage killer. Let me offer you this: Women, if your husbands are disinterested in sex (and are physically able to perform) then I would seriously question where they are meeting their sexual needs. Pornography is much more common than most (especially Christians) imagine. And women, one of the best tools you have in protecting your family from pornography (in addition to openness and accountability) is to have sex with your husband. Look at what scripture says on the issue of sex within marriage - addressed to both partners:

1 Cor. 7:3-5 (NLT)

The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.

2. Unforgiveness.
A marriage cannot survive if there is not a lot of grace and forgiveness. Anyone married more than 8 minutes will be able to tell you that you will have lots of opportunities to forgive. If we are not diligent about generously offering forgiveness, we will tend to compile lists of offenses that infect every part of our relationship and eventually spew over into mega-conflicts that were started over seemingly insignificant issues - all because we have not ever forgiven and still hold grudges and griefs against our spouse. Forgiveness does not mean granting the right to be hurt in the same way again, but it does mean "cancelling the debt" - as in you no longer expect them to do anything to make up for what they have done, nor do you still desire any retribution or vengeance. Bitterness is a nasty root that chokes out love and commitment. Even the healthiest marriages have to guard themselves from its pervasive influence.

Col. 3:13 (NIV)

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

3. Secrecy.
It is in the secret places of our lives that we are most prone to failure and unfaithfulness. Spouses who keep things from their partners are setting themselves up for temptations and pressures that they otherwise have easily avoided. Money spent, saved, or used that the other person knows nothing of ... trips taken with details of time place and company excluded ... friends that the other doesn't know ... or time spent online with no accountability or history to check up on ... all are warning signs of potential infidelity. I cannot tell you how many times I have talked to a teary-eyed spouse (male and female) who tell me that they "never knew ..." They never knew their spouse was wasting thousands of dollars a year on drugs, an affair, etc. They never knew their spouse wasn't really working late, but was violating their marriage vows, etc. I think you get the point. Secrecy is the arch-enemy of intimacy. Intimacy is that great condition of life where one is fully known, and yet still loved. Intimacy is the long-term glue that holds a marriage together in all types of difficulty. Intimacy describes how God loves us and how we must love our marriage partners:

Ephes. 5:25-31 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

4. Stupid Spending
It seems so mundane and not on the high spiritual/moral plane as the others on this list, but it still packs a powerful punch when it comes to destroying marriages. Simply put, life has enough problems and stresses of its own for us not to create financial difficulty for ourselves on top of them. When couples get themselves in debt over unwise spending (It is my opinion opinion that our economic crisis in America is largely a moral crisis - we are never satisfied with what we have, we overspend our incomes, and we don't have a clue what the Bible says about money) it adds enormous stress to their marriages. I read that more arguments happen in a marriage over money that over any other single subject. If you are in debt, you need to get help developing a plan right now to get out. If you are overspending your income and using credit cards without fully paying them off each month, you need to stop and make plans now to get out of that cycle. Think about the impact your spending is having on the health of your marriage. Ask yourself: how different would my relationship with my wife/husband be if we had no debt?

Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.

5. Disjointed Parenting.
If you have children and you and your spouse do not fundamentally and philosophically agree about how best to parent them and if you do not fully and openly support each other's parenting decisions, you will have conflict. Guaranteed. You are a team. Your kids are also on your team (although they sometimes play it like they are lined up on the other side of the scrimmage line.) But being a parent is hard stuff. It is a constant challenge. And no matter what sweet little dolls you have - they will work any angle they can to get what they want from you. And if they sense a crack in the partnership of the parents, they will exploit that crack - playing one off against the other. You must work this out! Decide to not argue about the kids or about parenting/discipline issues in front of the kids. Ever. Determine to talk thru all of this in private. respect the insights and natural gifts of both parents. I grew up in a single parent (mom) home, but I still know it is God's best to have the influence of both mom and dad. And always support the other spouse in front of the kids. Disagree in private later. (Now some knucklehead will write something stupid to me asking about abuse, etc. and my comment about "always supporting". Get a clue. I am talking about parenting that is godly and interested in the best for the child. If you have an abusive spouse, get out, get help, and call the police.)

Deut. 4:9 (NIV)

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

6. Selfishness.
I have to be honest with you. I am sick and tired of hearing people (both men and women) try to justify their unfaithfulness and adultery by saying something like, "I just want to be happy." Even worse are the ones who blasphemously invoke God in the equation: "I know God wants me to be happy". What God wants (and expects) is that you be faithful to your commitments and be holy (set apart from this unholy world). It is a great tragedy that divorce rates in the church mirror those of the lost world. It says we have bought wholesale into the world's selfish philosophy that our personal pleasure and happiness is the highest pursuit of life. And the real tragedy is that in the process we trade in the potential of real and lasting joy (by living life God's way) for a vapor that promises happiness but is ultimately deceptive and fleeting. May I remind you that REAL love is OTHER PERSON FOCUSED? When you commit to a covenant of marriage, you commit to giving serving and loving the other person - even if it hurts. That is sacrificial love (Remember Jesus, anyone?). And love is not just a feeling. It is a choice. And in that daily choosing, real love grows.

1 Cor. 13:4-8a (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

7. Wrong priorities.
Your most important life commitment (if you are a Christian) is to God. If he is number one, your choices, use of time, use of money, etc. will all reflect it. Number two is to your spouse. No other earthly relationship holds as much promise for reward or as much accountability before God as this one. At least in this area, the above secular list was teetering near correctness. A healthy marriage requires a prioritization of time and energy and desire. A lot of marriages simply diminish over time because all the effort went into building something else - a business, kids, even church stuff. Kids are awesome - kids are great. They are a gift from God and my chance to leave a lasting legacy. But they are not as important as my wife. She is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh as the Bible says. Our relationship is the only one that is God-designed to mimic His relationship with His people - the Church. In practical terms, that means I better devote the time and passion and resources into constantly building my marriage up. Date nights, prayer together, sex, communication, etc.

Eccles. 9:9 (NLT)

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you in this world. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.

8. Pride.
Every marriage needs help at some point. Every married couple could use a good counselor every now and then. It does not necessarily have to be a formal counseling session in an office somewhere. It could be with a good mentoring couple, or a minister. But there may be a time where ongoing counseling help in a formal setting is necessary. What keeps us from getting the help we need? Pride. I have a basic philosophy about people I counsel who have marriage problems. I'm not always right about this, but I am correct far more often than not: By the time the people come to see me, the problems are wayyyyy beyond bad. In fact, most come to see me after a split or a filing for divorce has already happened. You better get over your pride and fast. We all need help every now and again. And the way I see it is this: I will do whatever it takes to keep my marriage whole and healthy. Some of you (speaking to men, here) are just too stubborn and proud to admit that you don't have all the answers and that your marriage is not all you want people to think it is. Satan loves pride and the silence in the face of struggle it produces.

Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

9. Sleeping in on Sundays.
According to the National Survey of Family Growth, divorce rates are 56% less for people who regularly attend church than for those who don't. Obviously church attendance is not a panacea, and I would also offer than attending a false church is worse than no church at all, but this survey does indicate one important truth: Couples who care about their spiritual lives and who worship and pray and serve together are generally much happier and more successful than their counterparts who do not. Active Christian couples recognize that their own spiritual condition and their relationship with God is the most important factor in the health of their marriages. Simply put - if I am not right with God, I will not be right with others. If my spiritual life is lacking, it will affect all of my other relationships. What is the "secret" for many happy marriages? God.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (Msg)

Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

10. Staying lost.
The key to me for the success of my marriage is knowing Christ. Without Him, His Word, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I would not have the ability or even desire to love as God wants me to love. Without him, my marriage would be -at best - only a shadow of what it could be with Him as Lord of my life. Christ enables me to be forgiven and forgiving. To receive mercy and be merciful. To know and receive intimacy. To have internal peace that leads to external peace. to know Gods love for me is the most formative and instructional aspect of building and maintaining a happy healthy marriage. God is the 3rd partner in our covenant and sometimes He alone holds it all together!

Ephes. 5:31-32 (NIV)

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

The real face of "tolerance" in America?

Have you seen this video? Notice the intimidation, aggression, intolerance and even violence by a group of mostly "men" fomented against a solitary older woman who was exercising her free and legitimate right to make her opinion known.

It is a shocking display of disregard for 1) The fair and legal vote that allowed the passage of proposition 8 in California, 2) Our Christian faith (notice the violent stomping on the cross after it was ripped from the grip of this elderly woman - can you imagine the news coverage this would have gotten if that cross had been a copy of the Quran?), and 3) This woman's physical and emotional safety. At what point did the civil rights of those who support traditional marriage evaporate?


Shortly after wisely defeating proposition 8 in California, thousands begin protesting. From one source: Angry crowds thronged the streets in central West Hollywood, the heart of Los Angeles' gay community, chanting slogans and waving signs. "Stop the hate in 2008!" went one chant. "Keep religion out of my Constitution!" was another. Protester Jason Louis wrote the words "I am a victim of H-8" (H for Hate) on his bare chest.

Today, thousands more will be protesting again outside the Mormon Temple in Los Angeles (the gay community disproportionately blames Mormons for putting the resources in place and getting out the vote to pass this proposition). Who knows if these protests will also turn to violence and frightening aggression at any and all who disagree with the gay community and their agenda? And make no mistake - today it is the LDS church, tomorrow it will be Catholics, Baptists, and any other religious group that stands for a traditional (and biblical) definition of marriage.

The hate and vitriol is amazing and frightening. From one blog: "Burn their f---ing churches to the ground, and then tax the charred timbers" Here are a few other gems: "I'm going to give them something to be f---ing scared of. … I'm a radical who is now on a mission to make them all pay for what they've done," wrote "Jonathan." On yet another site, "Americablog," "scottinsf" wrote, "Trust me. I've got a big list of names of mormons and catholics that were big supporters of Prop 8. … As far as mormons and catholics … I warn them to watch their backs."

From worldnetdaily: Matt Barber, director of cultural affairs for Liberty Counsel, called the statements "hate crimes" for their intent to create violence against someone based on their beliefs. "This is not just a matter of some people blowing off steam because they're not happy with a political outcome. This is criminal activity," he said. "The homosexual lobby is always calling for 'tolerance' and 'diversity' and playing the role of victim. They claim to deplore violence and 'hate.' Here we have homosexuals inciting, and directly threatening, violence against Christians. This is not free speech; these are 'hate crimes' under the existing definition. Imagine if Christian websites were advocating such violence against homosexuals. There'd be outrage, and rightfully so. It'd be national front-page news. Federal authorities should immediately investigate these threats and prosecute the perpetrators to the fullest extent of the law."

For a group of people that claims to only desire tolerance, civility, and equal rights, these protests, statements, and this video-taped attack show that for the liberal far left of American culture and values, "tolerance" is a one way street.

Take a minute today to thank a veteran

I remember the first time I saw the WWII Memorial in Washington DC. I was amazed by the size and scope of it, and could not help but stop and take in as much as I could. I was struck by the Pavilions, the Freedom Wall, and the Field of Stars. I read the historic quotes and considered the massive sacrifices made during a grander time of our nation's history. As I stood there with my son Daniel, I was emotionally moved, just thinking of the enormity of the struggle and the millions who served. But it wasn't until I saw an older couple taking pictures near us, that I really was lost in a flood of emotion. He was wearing his WWII veteran cap and she was taking his picture. He looked like the quintessential grandfather. He could've been mine or yours or anyone's. I walked over and offered to take pictures of them together, which they appreciated. Before I did, however, I shook his hand and simply told him thank you. "Thank you for serving our country", I said. I wasn't prepared for the response. He took my hand in his, holding the grip as he told me thank you in return. Moved to tears by a simple act of appreciation he said, "Thank you, young man. You don't know how much that means to me." I walked off crying (like I am about to right now recalling this). I looked back and saw that he stayed there a while with his wife, arm around her, in apparent silence - simply looking and remembering. I decided that day that I would - at every opportunity - thank every veteran I see for their service.

Thank a veteran today. His/her gift of service is priceless.

"War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing he cares about more than his personal safety; is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. "
- John Stuart Mill, English philosopher

Turn up your radio!

On Monday, November 17, I am beginning a new daily radio program on 89.9 FM (WCNO) called - "Consider This".  I will be on daily (M-F) from 11:45 - 12 noon, immediately preceding Focus on the Family.  Copies of the program will also be available soon thereafter on our website.

It's been a hectic week, and I neglected to blog for a number of reasons.  1) I grew tired of daily political discussions and just didn't feel like talking about that anymore (plus, I needed some time to process all that happened in our world last week), and 2) I've been really busy making plans for our 2009 Vision Sunday which is just a couple weeks away.  I believe God has some big plans in mind for us at First Baptist Jensen Beach!

For those of you who still stop by the blog with some regularity - thanks!  Look for daily entries beginning on Monday of this week.  Also, if you have some suggestions for the daily radio program, let me know.  I want it to be worth your time to listen to and worth passing word along to others.    I look forward to having another way to get out the Good News!

Do me a favor and answer my short poll to the right.  I'm interested in how many of you listen to Christian radio.  Thanks!