Autism, Disabilities, and the Church

It really saddened me to see this video about an autistic boy who has been banned from his local church. I can certainly understand the difficulties that this mom has faced over the years with her severely autistic son. I can easily see those difficulties being magnified as he gets as big and as strong as her son apparently is. He has to deal with hormones and a changing body like any teenager. Plus, he likely has a growing sense of frustration that he cannot communicate and let his feelings and needs/desires be known like a "typical" teenager can. (I realize as I type this that "typical teenager" is probably an oxymoron). I can even understand the fears and frustrations of the local church his family is a part of. Most people don't know how to react to a 10 year-old with autism, much less one in his teen years. Yet, I hurt for not only this family, but for every family that is estranged from the normalcy of life most everyone else takes for granted: the ability to enjoy an evening at a restaurant with your whole family, or the blessing of being able to walk through the aisles of a grocery store without fearing a meltdown over some forbidden food, or comfortably being able to have guests over without worrying that your autistic son might spend the evening screaming, banging his head on the floor or walls, or intermittently streaking naked through the room. And now the family is being denied that one cord that ever so tenuously holds them together: their faith and their church. Where else will they go where they can be accepted and loved? If not the church, then where? If not God's people (the real definition of "church") then who?
All this makes me so very thankful for the church family I have in Jensen Beach. They have lovingly accepted Mark's presence and behaviors and issues and I suspect they will as long as we are here among them. They have allowed my wife to have a place of peace and solace and encouragement as she worships God here WITH Mark (and the rest of our family). In those weeks where we are barely hanging on because of all that has happened, that Sunday opportunity to gather with God's people, to pray, sing, and hear the message from the Bible is priceless to us. I literally cannot imagine making it through without it.
This situation also makes me realize that there are likely MANY families out there who feel just as estranged from church as this family now does. Of course, they are probably not forbidden from coming (legally or otherwise) like the poor family in the video, but nonetheless they are unwanted by people who do not understand the struggle of the families involved and their spiritual needs, nor the spiritual needs of those with disabilities. These families are not welcomed because there is nothing for them or their children, and there is no attempt to provide an atmosphere of welcome and acceptance to them.
We have to change that. I want for the families of the Treasure Coast the same experience my family has had. I want all the other "Marks" out there to have a place where they will be loved, cared for, and accepted, n o matter how challenging they become. Pray for me and the church as we try to develop just such an atmosphere. Pray as I develop a plan of comprehensive ministry to families with disabilities.

When I think of how Jesus sees my Mark, I think of Jesus sitting on a grassy knoll with kids running all around him (loud and chaotic) as he says to those who just don't get it: But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14 NASB)

Tuesday's Rant: Our Litigious Society

A couple of months ago, I had an unfortunate (and very minor) car accident on Jensen Beach Blvd. An elderly lady pulled out from a side street and - apparently never seeing me at all - ran right into me, crossing her lane to do so. The damage to my jeep was minimal (several hundred dollars to replace my rear bumper and right rear plastic fender) and the damage to me was nil. Her car fared much worse however, sustaining a pretty decent amount of front end damage. Doing what the law (and our insurance companies) requires, we called the police and waited for them to fill out an accident report. At the scene, while talking with the lady, I genuinely felt sorry for her. It was - in every sense of the word - an accident. And, it was her first one ever. She admitted full culpability and her insurance paid all my damages without a problem. Thankfully, she did not get a ticket for the incident. I considered it done - over - finis. In fact, I had nearly forgotten about it until this week when I received a very "official" looking letter (and a copy of the accident report) from the law offices of Schwartz, Sweben, and Slingbaum telling me they would be "glad to discuss my potential claim at any time". They assured me that choosing them might mean "the difference between a substantial award and a meager settlement".

As I read that, I could not help but think THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA! (Obviously it's not all that's wrong, or even in the top ten probably, but it is wrong, nonetheless). We have become a society that sees every mishap, accident, and unfortunate event as an opportunity to profit off of another. We sue - or threaten to sue - for accidents that, years ago, would have simply and easily been worked out between neighbors. And Lord knows how greed changes just about everyone. It never ceases to amaze me how people's values, integrity, and even personalities shift if money is on the line. Needless to say, I did not take them up on their dubious offer. I hated that the poor lady is now paying more for her insurance, had to go days without a car, and probably felt awful about the whole incident to boot.

Fast forward to a few nights ago ...

Now I am apparently on the other end of the greed and opportunism of others. Here's what happened: As I was taking out my trash late at night (with the companionship of my chocolate lab, Samson) a neighbor (whom I had never met, but had seen on occasion) was walking her two little dogs (I dunno - chihuahua looking things) down our street. Samson saw them before I did, and - being off leash - ran straight for them. He never barked, snarled, growled, jumped, or made any aggressive move towards the dogs or their owners. His only weapon is a very soggy tongue, which he applies liberally to everyone and nearly everything he meets. Well, as Samson approached, she began to panic and threw herself on the ground, ostensibly to separate her wee little dogs from this terrible approaching monster. It was all quite unnecessary, as Samson ran up, sniffed, and moved on. As I went to chasing him down the street, I could hear her yelling and cursing at the dog, at me, and at anyone who would listen. By the timer I returned, she was demanding either "my homeowner's insurance, a check out of pocket, or she would take me to small claims court" (I left all the choice words out - my mom reads this). So ... we called the fire/rescue (she refused any treatment) and we called the sheriff's department (to whom she reported that she had been "attacked and knocked off her feet" by my dog). Thankfully, there were other witnesses who verified my description of the events. Needless to say, I still am bracing myself for the LITIGATION! (Perhaps, the pure-hearted folks at "Schwartz, Zweben, and Slingbaum" will step in on her behalf, promising her "There is no attorney's fee paid until we recover money for our client").

Anyone know a good attorney?

And I say all this to say, this litigious society we are in robs us of our ability to be good neighbors, do the right thing, and take care of each other. I'd have happily checked in to see how my neighbor was doing, offer any assistance I could, or whatever. But after being cursed out - and I mean really cursed out - and threatened with a lawsuit, what am I going to do? I'll have to go the way of the world, hire an attorney, defend myself (and my home and family) and forego trying to be a neighbor until all this is resolved.

It all had me thinking: If the Good Samaritan story happened today, who would he sue?