Push on through.

Someone I know caught me at the grocery store and said something to the effect of, “I saw you out running the other day. You didn’t seem to be enjoying yourself very much.” I responded back with something like “That’s just my running face” or something similarly inane. But the comment did get me to thinking. Do I enjoy this? If not, why am I doing it?
Firstly, let me say that most times I do actually enjoy it. Sometimes I can feel stress melting away, I can sense my energy levels rising, I enjoy the company of friends I run with, and I'm not as fat as I used to be. Invariably, I’m always glad afterwards that I did it.

Some days though, it’s plain grueling. Take yesterday for example. After about 8 miles, my knee was throbbing. We ran 17. It was no ‘fun run’, and if you saw me, you probably saw some version of my “runner’s face.” It’s on those days and those runs that my reason for running runs deeper. To me, there is more to it than just my enjoyment. There is great value in setting a goal and struggling to reach it. I set my mind on running a marathon, and I have a ways to go to meet that goal. Lord willing, I will accomplish it. If it was easy, everyone would do it! There is value in the struggle. I have also found that running is a good metaphor for my life because I have to learn to say no to myself sometimes. Sometimes I have to defeat self-defeat. Sometimes I have to keep going when I want to stop. Sometimes I have to make choices with the big picture in mind, even if there is a cost or sacrifice to get there.

I know that I get too easily accustomed to doing just what’s easy, fun, or feels good. In the process, I become weak – not just physically weak, but psychologically, mentally, and even morally weak. If I want to get stronger, get healthier, change my course, or simply find out what’s on the other side of making a tough decision, setting a big goal, keeping a personal commitment, or simply doing what's right when it's hard to do so, I have to learn how to push on through.

Here’s to pushing on through!

… let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

- Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

Why I (mostly) use the English Standard Version of the Bible

Many of you have noticed and/or commented on my (near) exclusive use of the ESV Bible over the last several months. Here is the short version of what led me to that decision:

1) I began to develop a concern that most versions contain more commentary and interpretation than most readers (and I) realized. The more I studied the original languages, the more frustation I had at some of the popular versions today. I wanted a translation that was as accurate as possible in interpreting the original texts, and was at the same time, readable. I once predominantly used the NIV on Sunday AM (due largely to its popularity and common usage) and the NASB on Wednesday nights (due to its literal accuracy). I think the ESV provides the readability of the NIV without the over-simplicity and interpretive bent, while improving the flow and readability without sacrificing the literal accuracy of the NASB.

2) I began to be convicted about the popular trend (inspired by Rick Warren, Purpose-Driven style preaching and preachers) of using a disconnected mix of translations and paraphrases in every message instead of utilizing one worthy text. The purpose of picking and choosing a mix of versions seems to be to get the Bible to say what you want it to say by finding certain phrases, words, ideas that may not be well-founded in the original texts, rather than doing the hard work of determining what the Bible actually said (to it's original audience), says (in its proper context), and says today to us (the timeless principles).

3) I have great respect for the team that developed this version and for the Christian leaders, professors, and pastors who endorse it. It was the endorsement of men that I admire that first led me to consider the ESV as my primary text.

While I still utilize a variety of references in personal study, message preparation, devotional reading, and in writing, I rely on the ESV as my primary preaching/teaching text.

This video will give you more insight as to why:

What the world needs now ...

... is what the world has always needed. This world needs to hear a word from God. Specifically, the world needs to hear God's Word. And how will that happen?

This Sunday, a pastor at a church down the street will preaching on the popular, but theologically heretical bestseller, The Shack. Another one will be preaching some sort of "response" to Dan Brown's latest attack on Christianity, Angels and Demons. Hundreds - if not thousands - more preachers will be borrowing messages from pop-psychologists, self-help seminar leaders, and positive-thinking, motivational speakers addressing things like overcoming stress, enjoying your job, or the latest troubling fad - trying to lure people by talking explicitly about sex. Others still will be offering up corny takeoffs of TV series like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Lost, and The Biggest Loser, all trying to make some sort of tenuous Christian connection.

And I used to do the same. I look over my message titles from 5-6 years ago and more and cringe as I see the same sort of junk. I had message series like: CASTAWAY – How to Get off Your Desert Island and SURVIVOR- How to Make It in a Tough World. Seriously. I actually preached that stuff. But over time, my approach has changed. I'd like to say I had an epiphany and God himself said "Stop borrowing Rick Warren's messages and getting your inspiration from the TV set", but it didn't exactly happen that way. It was more gradual. I slowly begin to realize that man's wisdom - no matter what man - is not life-changing. It may be impressive, memorable, and even adored, but its effects are minimal. What people need - what I need - is a word from God. I begin to feel a deep and lasting conviction that I should do exactly as Paul told his apprentice Timothy to do: Preach the Word. Period.

When you preach the Word, you don't need a knee-jerk response to every Dan Brown, Richard Dawkins, or Oprah Winfrey. When you preach the Word, you don't need to be cute, clever, or contemporary. The Word is powerful, effective, and timeless. When you preach the Word, you don't need a hook, a gimmick, or bait-n-switch. It's truth. Total truth. Now it's true that not everyone will want that sort of preaching. Many prefer to be entertained, coddled, or indulged. But Paul covered all that when he told Timothy:

2 Timothy 4:1-5 (ESV)
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

So - if any young preachers are out there reading this - here's my advice. Preach the Word. Study it thoroughly, think on it deeply, live it honestly, and communicate it passionately. God will take care of the rest.

Just my thought for the day!

A word of encouragement from a friend

I received this article from a good friend this week.  My friend had this cut out and taped to her mirror for years and retyped it and passed it along to me.  It has encouraged at least two people now!  I hope it encourages you, too.

Where is the Good Life When We Suffer? 

by Chuck Colson

"What happens to the good life when your world falls apart?" 

This was the question my friend Richard Neuhaus asked when he critiqued "The Good Life" manuscript. "It all sounds just a little too rosy," he wrote. "Remember, even Mother Teresa had days of depression."

I made a few changes in the manuscript. Still the question haunted me, as if my friend was being prophetic. As it turned out, he was.

In February my oldest son, Wendell, was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer. As with any parent, the worst thing I could imagine was a child in peril. Shaken, I asked God repeatedly to let it be me, not Wendell.

Surgeons took 10 hours to remove the spinal tumor, making it the longest day of my life. The waiting room grew increasingly oppressive as our family huddled together while other anguished families came and went. Wendell came through it well, but continues in chemo.

I was just adjusting to the shock of Wendell when my precious daughter Emily was diagnosed with melanoma. Soon we were back at the hospital waiting room: more anxiety, prayers and sleepless nights. Then in April, my wife, Patty, underwent major knee surgery. Yet more anxious hours in another waiting room.

As I've frequently written, no one gets through life unscathed. You have probably discovered, as I have, that when trouble comes, it seems to pile on. Exhausted from 2 years of writing "The Good Life," I found myself at times wrestling with the great deceiver. He attacks when we're weakest or when God is going to do something very important--like a book being released. There was an unpleasant situation with a disgruntled former employee, an unauthorized and in part embarrassing biography published, a vicious attack on me in the press. Though my prayer partners sustained me, I understood what Mother Teresa wrote about. God at times seemed distant.

I write now, however, with perspective. The self-pitying fog began to clear in June: I was reminded how God so often uses the suffering of believers for His redemptive purpose. As a visible public figure, how I would bear up under this would be an important witness--as it is with each of us dealing with affliction. When I came to terms with this, my confidence was renewed, and I even experienced glorious moments of God's sustaining grace.

In September, the clearest understanding came, not in a blinding revelation but in quiet reflection. I was standing alone on the deck of a friend's mountaintop home in North Carolina, looking over the spectacular Smoky Mountains rising out of the mist. I was moved, as I so often am, by the majesty of His creation. It is impossible not to know that God is THE Creator. As I have written in "The Good Life", there is no other rational explanation for reality. God cannnot not be. I remembered Michael Novak's comment, "If occasionally I raise my heart in prayer, it is to no God I can see or hear or feel." The great theologian, of course, didn't mean that he doubted the existence of God, but rather that God is God whether or not we experience His presence.

Many evangelicals believe you can know truth only when you experience it. Not so. Our feelings are irrelevant; God is not the creature of our emotions--God is the great I AM, who created me and in whose care rests my family and my family's destiny.

I've spent years writing apologetic books, but it struck me that day in North Carolina that I needn't make sense of the burdens I was given to bear or the despair I'd experienced. Who was I even to question? I must simply cling to the certain knowledge that God is--and that He has revealed Himself in His infallible Word.

Attempting to explain our existence, the philosopher Descartes famously said 'cogito ergo sum'--I think, therefore I am. But the Christian, Neuhaus writes, says ''cogitur ergo sum'--I was thought, therefore I am. On this certainty I entrust my life and my family.  

Thanks for the encouragement, Paul

Can I give you a dirty little secret about preachers? (well - this preacher, at least). We don't always take our own medicine. There. I said it. I'm not proud of that little fact, but I know it's true. There have been more than a few times I have offered others advice or biblical guidance that I myself have not followed. Oh, i know what i should do, but at times - probably like every other Christian - I don't do it. Case in point: Dealing with discouragement and disappointments ...

Just this Sunday, I was filling in our congregation a little on the condition of my son, Mark. (He comes home TODAY, by the way!) I mentioned something off the cuff about how Philippians reminds us of how the joy of the Lord can be our strength, etc. etc. Sometimes those familiar phrases, almost cliche' like, roll off the tongue too easily. But this time, God stopped me. He sent me back to Philippians this week with this conviction: "Are you finding strength in my joy?" And I have not been. I have been worn down and discouraged. I have weary and less productive. Not to sound overly dramatic, but the accumulation of all this "stuff" lately (Mark's situation and a lot more) has just beaten me down. I didn't realize the cumulative effect until the last few days. So ... as I went back to Philippians, this is what I found to help deal with discouragement and hardship. I hope this helps you as it has me.

I remember someone once sharing this advice to me after I had been disappointed: "Don't ever expect anything, and you won't ever be disappointed." While that may be true, it sure is a negative and cynical way to live life, isn't it? I've also heard the "word-faith" "name it and claim it" TV preacher (often and sadly emulated in our area) tell us that we "get exactly what we expect" as if our words, thoughts, claims, statements, etc. direct the future. Well, I don't know about you, but I have gotten quite a lot I didn't expect in this life. I've personally decided on a different sort of motto. Being a huge believer in the sovereignty of God, I believe that I'll "get whatever God wants me to get". With that in mind, I know I will face things that hurt, confuse, disappoint, and discourage me. But i will also know that God does in fact know what He is doing and that He does do what He does out of love for us, so here's ...

SOME BIBLICAL GUIDANCE FOR FACING DISAPPOINTMENTS, DISCOURAGEMENT, and HARDSHIPS (from Philippians 1):

When life is tough (say, like being in prison, ala the apostle Paul) ...

1) Find a positive and sustaining memory! (vs. 3-5)

Paul certainly had an incredible and memorable life. Of course, not all of the memories were good … Notice that he recalls positive events and people who have blessed him. This helped him carry on! Our momentary problems can really skew our perspective on our lives. We tend to self-pity, resentment, anger, and the like,. We ask questions about "fairness" and "why me?" But i know for me, my life has been pretty good. I have experienced many wonderful events, known lots of great people, and have been very blessed. It's hard now, but this chapter of my life is not the only one that has been written or that will be written.

Philippians 1:3-5 (ESV) I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.

My positive memories remind me (in the words of my favorite professor, Dr. Melvin) that this too shall pass! My life has not always been like this and it will not always be like this. I can recall better times, and doing so returns a sense of balance and perspective to my life.


2) Trust God for ultimate outcomes! (vs. 6)

He always knows what He is doing, even when you’re in prison! (like Paul). And He is forever in control! And while we cannot always see His hand at work, we should trust that He is working towards an ultimate end. I struggle to understand the "why" of autism, sickness, my son's broken wrist right on the verge of his basketball tournament (and birthday), and so many other day-to-day events and happenings. God often does not answer my prayers as I request Him too. (Do you ever do that? Give God your plan and then get disappointed when he doesn't, genie-like, carry it out?) Instead of getting lost in the immediate, look to the ultimate. Trust God as completely as Paul did:

Philippians 1:6 (ESV) And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

God will definitively finish what He started in me - and in you.

3) Invest in life long edifying friendships! (vs. 7-8)

Circumstances can (and will) disappoint. Thank God for close friends who encourage us and sustain us when we are struggling! Over the last few months, the support, help, and encouragement of friends has really carried us. From the cards, letters, and emails to the unexpected gifts, we have really been blessed by friendship. And beyond the good people of FBJB who have constantly encouraged us with their words, prayers, and generosity, we have been carried by long-time friends that we love and who love us. I am not too proud to admit my need for those sorts of friends. I believe God created us all that way - with a need to live interdependently with eat other. I can understand what Paul meant when he spoke of those he held in his heart. The close friends I hold in my heart have been - more than they will know - a gift of God to me.

Philippians 1:7 (ESV) It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.


4) Try to see the bigger picture! (vs. 12-18)

What was it that primarily kept Paul going? It's the same "thing" that will keep any person going thru adversity and hardship. It is a sense of purpose and calling. That driving sense of who I am and what I am here for is a powerful motivator to keep on going. What great purpose do you have that will keep you going in the midst of crisis? Without purpose, we are so much more likely to quit - to give up. Have you ever quit something saying, "What's the point?" Paul knew the point of his life. He also realized that in spite of what he was going through, the purpose of God for his life was still playing out! Yes - things are exceedingly tough at the moment, but look at the big picture! God is still accomplishing His plan through my life.

Philippians 1:12-18 (ESV) I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. and most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.

5) Always keep an eternal perspective! (vs. 19-26)

God has placed in the life of every believer a spiritual deposit (the Holy Spirit) of what is in store for us (Heaven). It is right that we should long for it. It is beneficial for us to frame our view of everything in light of it! I think of this in most extreme terms: win or lose - as a Christian, I still win! You get it? What is the worst that could happen to me? Death? Well then, I win! And if I live? Then I continue doing what God made me to do for His glory and my eternal reward. One way or the other, I WILL BE delivered! If it's cancer, one way or the other - here or there - I will be delivered! Autism? Just the same! Hardship? Difficulty? It won't last! Paul said:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV) So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

and ...

Philippians 1:19-26 (ESV) ... for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.

So hang in there. Be encouraged. Paul suffered beyond what any of us will likely endure. And his suffering as a Christian was not because of bad choices, stupid mistakes, or sin. He suffered for doing the right thing. And he held up. In fact, stood firm, kept fighting, and was unfazed by the attacks of the enemy.

Thanks for the encouragement, Paul.

Insight into our world, part 47

Over the last few weeks I have been frequently asked the same sort of questions. The specifics may differ slightly, but the basic premise of the inquiries is the same. Since Mark has been at Sea Harbor, people want to know, "Is Mark happy there?" Was Mark glad to see you when you visited?" "Was Mark sad when you left?" "How does Mark like it there?", etc. All those question get to the heart of our struggle with autism. We just don't know what Mark thinks, how Mark feels, what Mark likes, or if Mark is happy or sad - at least not with any regularity. Mark doesn't communicate these things. And just when you think he is "happy", a major incident of self-injurious behavior could occur. And when you think he is "sad", there is almost no way of knowing why or over what he is sad. That's one part of the emotionally painful world of autism. I wish i could tell each of you who have asked how Mark was feeling, what Mark was thinking, and if he was happy there, but I can't. Yesterday I posited to Cecilia after our visit with Mark that I wish he would tell us, "Mommy, Daddy - don't leave! I won't to go home" (Like a "normal" 11-year-old might). While that would certainly be painful to hear, I know the tears would be tears of joy that we are finally hearing him ... really hearing his thoughts, his feelings .... instead of always wondering, guessing, and trying to figure them out. We pray constantly that he is at peace there, unafraid, and that he knows that he is loved. I sure hope he knows that he is loved.

We had a good visit yesterday - our best yet, I think. Mark seemed glad to see us. He was smiling, laughing, and more affectionate than he had been in our previous visits, We had no incidents of aggression or self-injury. In fact, they said he has a "good" run of three days or so with a drastic decline in behaviors. We played in the big yard, tossed a ball back and forth for a while (till we got the expected "no thank you" from Mark and he just let the ball drop), and then went in and sat in a visiting lounge of sorts for a while and gave him squeezes like he likes, talked to him, got him to sing some songs, prayed with him, and left. You can't see emotions in typed words I guess, but that last sentence made the tears well up again. We so hate leaving him. That long drive back from Orlando is a tough one.

While we are still encountering difficulties with insurance (i.e. they won't pay), the good news is Sea Harbor granted Mark an extra week. Discharge is now set for Thursday, April 23rd. Thankfully, his doctor there ordered the additional days so that Mark could be properly evaluated since his meds changed this week. We are really thankful for that. (Especially in light of the really rough weekend he just had). Our next moves when Mark comes home include the following:

• Talking with the neighbor about his barking dog - a HUGE trigger for Mark's behaviors
• Beginning Mark in a different school setting - Challenger School
• Working with an audiologist to begin dealing with the auditory triggers for Mark (far and away his biggest struggle is with dealing with sounds/noises at certain frequencies ... the vast majority of his behaviors are reactions to noises it seems)
• Implementing the behavioral plan at home that was initiated at Sea Harbor
• Continue his new pharmacological plan with a new psychiatrist

We hope we will see good results from these steps.

Thanks for all the inquiries and for caring about Mark as you do. Thanks also for the prayers. I sat and thought last night how truly humbling it is to know that people - many of whom I don't even know personally - are praying for us. That you would stop what you are doing, think of me and my family, and pray is an incredible thing. Thank you.

Looking forward to the return of my little boy,

Paul

Mark update - April 10

Mark is coming home next Thursday. While we're not yet sure that's the best thing for him, it is what's happening.  Here's where we stand right now and the brief version of how we got to this point:

As most of you know by now, Mark was admitted to the Sea Harbor program at Central Florida Behavioral Hospital on Saturday, March 28.  This has been a tough time for us all.  As difficult as Mark's behaviors had been - the head banging and biting himself with greater frequency and intensity as well as the aggression towards others - the separation has been almost as difficult to bear.  Thankfully we are able to call daily to talk to Mark (although he hates having the phone put up to his ear) and get frequent reports from the staff there.    Thursday we went for our meeting with his "team" there (therapists, etc.) and were told he would be discharged on the following Thursday.  The reason for the earlier-than-expected discharge?  Insurance.  Contrary to what we were told upon admission, our insurance will not cover Mark there.  They said they agreed to admit him because of the crisis situation and had hoped that insurance would pay some of the expenses.  Unfortunately, that is not the case. And the per diem rate there is beyond our capacity to pay (roughly $550).  Realistically though, we knew Mark would not be there beyond the 30 day initial period we anticipated our insurance covering anyway.  We simply saw no long term solutions coming in such a short time and we knew it was not a feasible option to pay $16500 for an additional 30 days.  We also were concerned that the program possibly over-relies on medications to handle/temper behaviors.  Reinforcing this idea for us was the sudden increase in medications upon arrival (doubling one med twice in the first day and a half), and what happened today: Mark has his biggest meltdown yet - the sort we had been seeing with all-too-common frequency, but had not been on display yet at Sea Harbor,  He was apparently attempting to bite anyone in sight and was also biting himself and head-banging.  Their response?  A shot of Ativan.  Ativan might get them over that brief crisis, but we don't have access to Ativan shots here - nor could we or would we use them the 5, 10, 15 times per week they are sometimes needed.  While possibly necessary, giving Mark a tranquilizer doesn't really solve any of Mark's problems.  It's a band-aid of sorts.  And that is really all we have done these past two weeks - apply a band-aid to a problem that still is critical.  On a positive note, Mark has done well in the school setting there and has greatly benefited from the intense one-on-one attention and therapy he has received.  We will miss both.   We have some tough decisions to make in terms of Mark's school.  We simply cannot return to the situation he had been failing in for so long.  We also got some new ideas and suggestions we will be exploring in the days to come.  We will be seeing an audiologist (to see if there are any measures we can take to limit Mark's exposure to certain noises and frequencies that invariably lead to behaviors), and we will be seeing a psychiatrist to address Mark's medical plan (since he has been under the care of the psychiatrist at Sea Harbor but will no longer be once discharged).  Ironically, after months and months of petitioning the folks that control the flow of funds that Mark receives for services to move us up a "tier" so that we would qualify for an intensive residential treatment program, we were finally approved - one week AFTER we enrolled Mark at Sea Harbor.  We were offered a placement at Carlton Palms in Mt. Dora.  This program/facility does accept Mark's APD funds and would be fully covered for us.  Cecilia and I visited and toured on Thursday AM before our noon appointment at Sea Harbor.  I'll have to give you the short version here ... we just don't feel that's the place for Mark for many reasons.  They require a one-year commitment up front, allow no visitors or calls for the first 30 days, use physical restraints liberally, and we simply were left feeling/thinking  that the program was just not right for Mark or us.  More than anything, we want Mark at home and well.   So far, we can only achieve the former.  The bottom line at the moment seems to be this: Mark's stay at Sea Harbor has given his body a well-needed break.  He looks better and his bite marks are subsiding and his head-banging has diminished.  We have some new ideas to try and perhaps a couple new insights.  But we have no solutions.  Very little, if anything has substantively changed.  We look forward to Mark's return, but know that we still face all the same issues as before.  

There is so much more to tell, but we are both so emotionally and mentally exhausted from it all, that it's hard to write or put into words.  Many of you have asked for an update and have assured us of your continuing prayers.  We really appreciate that.  I hope this gives you enough to know what's happening (at least in the big picture) and guides you in your prayers for us and Mark.  There is nothing besides caring and praying that anyone can be doing right now.  Thanks for asking, though.  I'll try to keep you updated more often here.  

Thanks again for the notes, emails, calls, and cards.  I apologize if we have not responded or replied to them all, but each has meant a lot to us.  

Mark's not home.

I woke up this morning and went downstairs for breakfast. I immediately noticed the box of Honeycomb cereal left out on the counter. It made me a little irritated. We just don't leave cereal out around our house because of Mark. My first thought was: "Mark is going to get into this cereal and go nuts". (He's on a gluten and casein free diet). Then it hit me. hard. Mark's not home. It's these small daily reminders that Mark is not with us, but is instead here that really get to me. The first night, it was his open door to his bedroom late at night. Then it hit me. Mark's not home. Yesterday, it was the neighbor's dog barking - which always leads to an episode of head-banging for Mark. In the odd ensuing silence, I realized, Mark is not home.

After consulting with a couple of his doctors, we made the hard choice this past weekend to admit Mark to the Sea Harbor program at the Central Florida Behavioral Hospital. After yet another weekend of crisis-inducing behaviors (violent head-banging, biting himself, and being very aggressive towards us) we knew we had to move beyond all that we have tried up to this point. Spending the day there on Saturday touring and interviewing and being interviewed about Mark was emotionally exhausting. Leaving him there at the end of the day was one of the hardest things Cecilia and I have ever done. And while we hold out hope that this 30 (possibly even 60) days of treatment, therapy, and observation will lead to breakthrough for Mark, we can't be sure. Since his admission on Saturday, we visited him on Sunday afternoon, again on Tuesday evening, and we will be going there again this afternoon. After that, we can only visit one time per week. That's going to be tough. We hope to see some hopeful signs today.

Thanks to all who have prayed, written encouraging notes and emails, sent cards, called us, and offered to help in many ways. I feel badly that I have responded to precious few of those emails, voice mails, and notes so far, but I still intend to. Please know that we appreciate the acts and words of kindness and the support of friends. Because many of you have asked, i will post periodic updates here. If you want to know more, feel free to call or email (although I may be a bit slow in responding). And keep praying, please. for Mark. for us. for the whole family.


Hanging in there ...



Ohhhh ... one last thing. Today is World Autism Awareness Day. We're quite "aware" of autism and its impact on people. Today might be a good day for you to pick up some new info on this modern epidemic. Just google.

Social Networking and Your Teenagers

Are your kids among the tens of millions of American teenagers using social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace?  If so, you might want to consider the wisdom of Vicki Courtney and her book and website Logged On and Tuned Out.  Here's an excerpt from chapter one:

Let’s face it—we all desire to be attentive and caring parents, but it becomes difficult when we can’t possibly keep up with friend/buddy lists that number in the hundreds, unlimited text messages, instant messages, and the World Wide Web with more than 990 million users. Where are our children going online? To whom are they talking? Who is talking to them? Are they talking to strangers? Are they surfing porn sites? Do they have a MySpace or Facebook page? Are they texting while they are driving? Are they texting during school hours? Do they have trashy hip-hop songs loaded on their iPods? Are they addicted to online gaming sites?

I wish we could take their annoying gadgets away! Let’s go back to the pre-wired days where there were only three TV channels, cassette tapes that held about twelve songs, and a home phone tethered to the wall in the middle of the living room. At least then Mom and Dad had a good idea of who their kids’ friends were and what they were up to because they were the mighty gatekeepers when the home phone rang. Nowadays, kids don’t even know one another’s home phone numbers because they have cell phones and can contact one another at all hours of the day or night. And what, may I ask you, is wrong with Pong, Atari, and PacMan? Our kids don’t know what they’re missing!

Let’s face it—we are riding shotgun when it comes to technology. For years I have counted on my kids to change the ring tone on my cell phone or reboot the computer when the screen froze up. Is it really necessary to step in and get involved in their media-saturated worlds? You bet it is. The average teen spends more than seventy-two hours a week using electronic media (Internet, cell phones, television, music, and video games).

Among the other good stuff you'll find there is this common sense online contract:  

Consider using the tips below as an online contract and have your teen initial each tip as a  

personal pledge to honor the boundaries.  Let your teen know that you will be bookmarking  

his or her page and checking the content from time to time.  Emphasize that it is not an issue  

of not trusting them but rather an issue of concern for their safety.  (Note: This assumes your  

child has met minimum age requirements.)  

- Vicki  

1.  Use the privacy controls and set your page to private (MySpace only).  Your friends will still  

be able to locate you and send a request to be added to your friend list.  

2.  Never share your last name, city, phone numbers, screen name, e mail address, or other  

information that would make it easy for strangers to identify you or contact you  

one on one (like in person!)  

3.  Read over your profile to see if you have disclosed information that would enable a stalker  

or predator to track you down.  

4.  Make sure your pictures are appropriate.  Never upload pictures in swimsuits, pajamas, or  

undergarments.  Do not pose suggestively or seductively.  

5.  Limit your friend list to real friends.  Who needs five hundred or more online strangers as  

friends anyway?  

6.  When it comes to the comments others post on your wall/page/pictures, remember that  

you will be judged by the company you keep.  In other words, “you are who you hang out  

with.”  

7.  One in five kids between the ages of ten and seventeen have been solicited for sex online.  

If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable online, tell your parents!  If you receive a sexual  

solicitation, copy and paste it in an e mail and send it to CyberTipline.com.  

8.  Keep in mind that many schools, teachers, colleges, employers, and other organizations  

are searching MySpace and FaceBook for information about potential students or  

employees.  

9.  Remember that information you delete never really goes away.  The pages are archived,  

and many are accessible free of charge to the public.  

10.When it comes to the social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, 1 Chronicles  

29:11 sums it up nicely: “Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and  

the splendor and the majesty, for everything in the heavens and on earth belongs to You.  

Yours, LORD, is the kingdom, and You are exalted as head over all.”  We would all be wise  

to remember that all space is really “his space.”  

Signed: ________________________________     Date: _______________________

To all of Mark's Monkeys!

Thanks to all of you who joined my facebook group, "Mark's Monkeys", or who joined the team by registering online. Initially, I formed the group to raise awareness and funds for Autism Speaks - one of the foremost research organizations in America. Thank you for so generously responding and contributing! If you have not yet given, and would still like to, there is time. The walk is 2 1/2 weeks away and you can contribute by following the link on Mark's Monkeys group page on facebook. Your gift will - I pray - begin to bring hope and answers to the millions now affected by autism.

Beyond the fundraising however, I appreciate the personal support for Mark and our family. I'd like to say his condition is steadily improving, but that is not the case. Mark's self-injurious behaviors (biting, scratching, head-banging, etc.) continue to escalate, as does his aggression towards others. While not constant, these episodes are more frequent, more intense, and of greater duration than ever before. We are currently exploring every available option for treatment and therapy for Mark. The stress on our family is great, too. It's not easy caring for the needs of two teenagers, a soon-to-be 10 year old daughter and your own needs while constantly in a state of autism-induced crisis. But we are thankful. We have good friends, a good church family, and the extended support of people like you. People caring, sharing, and working together will make a difference.

Thanks again for your support, prayers, friendship, and generosity. May God return blessings to you in multiplied measure.

Hoping for a breakthrough,

Paul Thompson

Note: There is still time for you to be part of our team - either by walking with us, or by contributing. You can find Mark's Monkeys' page on the Walk Now for Autism Site here.

Honest Hymns

Inspired by an email I received today, the following post is especially for those of you who love the old hymns or remember singing them in years past. It struck me while preparing for a message on worship last week just how similar we can be to all of those "hypocrites" and "pharisees" we rail against in the Bible. We pretend to be things we aren't (especially in church), we say things we don't mean (or even believe), and we certainly sing things that we have'nt really considered the implications of (especially if your church uses a hymnbook). Think of some of the best-known hymns of the faith. Think of what you are saying as you sing them. Now consider this: These are the ways we might sing some of these well-known hymns if we were being honest. I invite you to fill in the verses, I am merely providing the titles! Be creative! Let's see what you got!

(Note: These titles are from "Pastor Tim's Clean Laughs")


I Surrender Some

There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings

Fill My Spoon, Lord

Oh, How I Like Jesus

He’s Quite a Bit to Me

I Love to Talk About Telling the Story

Take My Life and Let Me Be

It Is My Secret What God Can Do

There Is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today

Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following

Just As I Pretend to Be

When the Saints Go Sneaking In

Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus

A Comfy Mattress Is Our God

Self-Esteem to the World, the Lord Is Come

Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing

Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound

Go Tell It on the Speed Bump

Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word

Praise God From Whom All Affirmations Flow

My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much

O, God, Our Enabler in Ages Past

I Lay My Inappropriate Behavior on Jesus

Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me

All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name!

When Peace, Like a Trickle

We Give Thee but Still Think We Own

What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus

My Faith Looks Around for Thee

Joyful, Joyful We Think Thee Pretty Good

Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness

We Are Milling Around in the Light of God

Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me

Blest Be the Tie that Doesn’t Cramp My Style

Sweet Moments of Prayer

Don't Spill the Beans

Any of you have or play this game as kids? I remember playing it some ... never really liked it, though. I just couldn't get into a game based on a pot of pinto beans. (And yes ... way back in the day, we played with real beans, not plastic pinto/peanut looking hybrid faux beans ... maybe we lost the ones it came with ... I don't know).

It's ironic that a game I never enjoyed as a kid, I play all the time as an adult. (No - not actually, Mr. Literal) My life is an awful lot like that red kettle. It is full of so much "stuff" already and I keep adding more to an already tipping pot. And if it's not me saying "yes" to something new, taking on a new task, agreeing to be part of something, etc., it is life - people and crazy happenings - adding "beans to my pot". But the beans don't just represent all the things I do or should be doing. Or even all the things happening to us. They also represent all the things I feel.

I know it is a proverbial broken record, but our version of autism is exacting a voracious toll on me and my family. You begin to wonder how many tantrums, attacks, and violent episodes you (or anyone) can endure. Lately, our emotional tanks have been nearly depleted. My sweet Sarah (age 9) said this to Cecilia (my wife) the other day: "No one in this house is happy anymore". Let that settle in on you for a moment. That statement hit me like a truck. To remedy it a little, Sarah and I took a date night that very night. "Bedtime Stories" wasn't the greatest movie, but we sure had a good time together. It gave a necessary, albeit short-lived relief to us both. But the emotional weight of all that is going on remains.

From the "typical" (whatever that means) stresses of life to the extra-intense stresses of autism, financial pressures, dual-teenagers (although I must say here that my two boys are awesome young men who only occasionally make me want to stomp a mud hole in them), and all the church stuff and constant demands that brings, we have a full pot of "beans" about to reach the tipping point. Occasionally, a few come tumbling out - and usually at the worst times. You end up saying stuff you wouldn't normally say, responding in ways you normally would not, or venting on the undeserving. At the very least, the joy can get sapped out easily. And that's easy to spot for a sharp 9-year old.

What do you do when you feel like the load you carry is more than on the heavy side? What do you do when you feel like you are trying to keep it all steady and balanced, but you fear the whole pot might come tumbling over with everything inside spilling out into a big mess?

I know a few practical things I have done and recommended ...

... re-prioritize and give up a few things that are lower on the list (but that's hard to do when you already are only doing stuff you consider "important")

... take some time for yourself to re-charge, rest, recreate, etc. (again - hard to do when there is little to no time left on the schedule)

... find someone to talk to, to share the load (but precious few understand even a little of the world we live in, some don't care, and some you'd just rather not know)


I know a few spiritual things as well ...

... Pray (and I'm admittedly not doing enough of that)

... "casting all our cares on Him because he cares for us" (I'm trying to do more of that)

... Read scripture (which I am doing more of and finding real comfort in ... especially Isaiah 58 ... that may just be my theme passage for 2009)


I also know that in my "profession", I am always supposed to have all the answers. I am expected to tell my story of struggle and hardship and then neatly wrap it up with "3 steps to a better you" or some such scheme. But life is not always that tidy. And the answers aren't always that simple. And I know God is here - is able - and cares. I just don't know how all this will pan out. Maybe you have to have that tipping point moment where all the stuff unceremoniously pours out of your life so you can fully rely on God to put it all back together. I don't know. I feel like I should know, but today I do not. Today I am merely a slightly unbalanced pot trying not to spill the beans.

Misc. thoughts on my recent trek to SC/NC

Here are a few miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings from my recent post-Christmas family vacation to South Carolina and North Carolina ...

1. "Slower traffic keep right" doesn't seem to apply in South Carolina. To all drivers in the Palmetto state who refuse to GET OVER, may I suggest the following: http://www.slowertraffickeepright.com/?

2. Gas is a lot cheaper in SC than in Florida, so that offsets the bad driving a little. But not much. Someone smarter than I ... please explain why we pay 20 cents more per gallon here.

3. Bojangles is awesome. I could eat that junk every day. Twice. (Steak or country ham biscuits in the AM, and copious amounts of cajun chicken in the PM). Oh yeah ... and cajun pintos. We ate there twice this trip; 4-5 times last time we were there. Craziness.

4. Never, ever believe the "ski report" from any NC ski resorts. 16" base? Where?!? In the old freezer in the worker's lounge that has never been defrosted? (And I know firsthand that these places give out false info all the time ... back in college, Cecilia and I worked at the same NC ski resort (which will remain nameless). I worked on the lifts at the top of the mountain and Cecilia worked in an office (with heat) way down the road. She took calls asking about conditions. Suffice it to say, the reports they gave her to give out and my reality from the actual slopes rarely coincided.)

5. A GMC Yukon XL is a HUGE vehicle ... for about 2 hours. Then, it steadily closes in on you until you can barely breathe. Just because it will seat 7 doesn't mean 7 people will enjoy each other's company for 12 hours. Twice. Oh - and remember this kids: Never take your shoes off in the car after a long day - no matter how hot your feet are. ESPECIALLY if your feet are hot.

6. Sometimes you have to get away and spend several nights in hotels just to remind you how good it is to be back at home (in your own bed).

7. Time visiting with extended family can be bittersweet. I guess I'll leave it at that.

8. Shooting a gun in the woods is powerfully cathartic. My grandparents land up in Lancaster, SC allows for plenty of release. We shot a couple hundred rounds of 12 gauge, 9 mm, .40 caliber, etc. Oh ... targets and skeet only - not animals.

9. I like my church. I'd rather go to church here than anywhere.

10. You can live past 100 years. My grandmother is 101. I don't want to live that long. My poor grandmother hasn't recognized me in probably ten years. I don't understand dementia and Alzheimer's at all - not just the medical aspects of it - I mean the "why-does-God-allow-this" aspects of it. I honestly hope my grandmother goes home to Jesus soon.

11. I have an awesome wife and kids. I'd rather be with them doing anything, than be with anybody else doing anything else. Does that make grammatical sense?


Final note: No angry letters from South Carolinians, please. If you MUST write, contact me here.


Have a nice day.

Time for a change of course?

About 13 years ago (December 1995), American Airlines Flight 965 departed from Miami on a regularly scheduled trip to Cali, Columbia. On the landing approach, the pilot of the 757 needed to select the next radio navigation fix, named Rozo. He entered an R into his navigation computer. The computer returned a list of nearby navigation fixes starting with R, and the pilot selected the first of these, whose latitude and longitude appeared to be correct.

Unfortunately, instead of Rozo, the pilot selected Romeo, 132 miles to the northeast. The jet was southbound, descending into a valley that runs north-south, and any lateral deviation was dangerous. Following indications on the flight computer, the pilots began an easterly turn and slammed into a granite peak at 10,000 feet. One hundred and fifty-two passengers and all eight crewmembers aboard perished. Four passengers survived with serious injuries.

The National Transportation Safety Board investigated, and declared the problem human error. The navigational aid the pilots were following was valid but not for the landing procedure at Cali. In the literal definition of the phrase, this was indeed human error, because the pilot selected the wrong fix.

The front panel of the airplane's navigation computer showed the currently selected navigation fix and a course deviation indicator. When the plane is on course, the needle is centered, but the needle gives no indication whatsoever about the correctness of the selected radio beacon. The gauge looks pretty much the same just before landing as it does just before crashing. The computer told the pilot he was tracking precisely to the beacon he had selected. Unfortunately, it neglected to tell him the beacon he selected was a fatal choice.

The beginning of a new year is pretty good time to examine your current “fix”. Where is your life headed right now – at this very moment? If you make no adjustments whatsoever, where will it take you? And, is that where you want to go? If not, what are you going to do about it? Every choice you make, every relationship you have, every pursuit you enjoy is taking you somewhere. Where are yours taking you?

Think about these words from 1st Thessalonians 5:2-6 from The Message:

You know as well as I that the day of the Master's coming can't be posted on our calendars. He won't call ahead and make an appointment any more than a burglar would. About the time everybody's walking around complacently, congratulating each other—"We've sure got it made! Now we can take it easy!"—suddenly everything will fall apart. It's going to come as suddenly and inescapably as birth pangs to a pregnant woman. But friends, you're not in the dark, so how could you be taken off guard by any of this? You're sons of Light, daughters of Day. We live under wide open skies and know where we stand. So let's not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let's keep our eyes open and be smart.

This New Year let’s all decide to take honest stock of our current course of life and readjust our gauges to point us in the way of Christ!

May God bless you with your best year ever in 2009!

Spurgeon is reason enough!

I get bogged down sometimes and don't blog as often as I'd like. Not to make excuses, but I stay plenty busy and see too little of my home (and occasionally - my family). Between marriage, 4 kids, autism (and forget the term "special needs" ... if you have a teenager - and I have two - you always have special needs), church responsibilities, radio, coaching basketball, etc, I don't get the time to get into this as much or as often as I want to. Nonetheless, the blog site is worth visiting daily if for no other reason than this: I have automatic daily Spurgeon quotes here! Man, this stuff is golden!

Here is a good thought for today (and remember to check the daily quotes on the bottom of the right column):

"I remember thee."—Jeremiah 2:2.

Let us note that Christ delights to think upon His Church, and to look upon her beauty. As the bird returneth often to its nest, and as the wayfarer hastens to his home, so doth the mind continually pursue the object of its choice. We cannot look too often upon that face which we love; we desire always to have our precious things in our sight. It is even so with our Lord Jesus. From all eternity "His delights were with the sons of men"; His thoughts rolled onward to the time when His elect should be born into the world; He viewed them in the mirror of His foreknowledge. "In Thy book," He says, "all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them" (Ps. 139:16). When the world was set upon its pillars, He was there, and He set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. Many a time before His incarnation, He descended to this lower earth in the similitude of a man; on the plains of Mamre (Gen. 18), by the brook of Jabbok (Gen. 32:24-30), beneath the walls of Jericho (Josh. 5:13), and in the fiery furnace of Babylon (Dan. 3:19, 25), the Son of Man visited His people. Because His soul delighted in them, He could not rest away from them, for His heart longed after them. Never were they absent from His heart, for He had written their names upon His hands, and graven them upon His side. As the breastplate containing the names of the tribes of Israel was the most brilliant ornament worn by the high priest, so the names of Christ's elect were His most precious jewels, and glittered on His heart. We may often forget to meditate upon the perfections of our Lord, but He never ceases to remember us. Let us chide ourselves for past forgetfulness, and pray for grace ever to bear Him in fondest remembrance. Lord, paint upon the eyeballs of my soul the image of Thy Son.

Al Mohler on Newsweek's Astonishing Article "A Religious Case for Gay Marriage"

I am borrowing wholesale today from Dr. Mohler - whom I respect greatly. In fact, I think he possesses one of the sharpest theological minds in the world today. Everything he writes is worth reading. You probably have seen or at least heard about Newsweek's cover story from last week endorsing gay marriage (no surprise there) from a religious argument (whoaaa - big surprise there!). The issue of course all boils down to - you guessed it - the Bible. Almost all big issues of our lives do. What do we believe about the Bible and its inspiration, accuracy, and authority? These are uber-questions you must definitively answer for yourself. Because Dr. Mohler does such a great job of addressing this issue, I yield the floor to him today and offer you the following two articles. Read carefully and with discernment and enjoy.

Newsweek magazine, one of the most influential news magazines in America, has decided to come out for same-sex marriage in a big way, and to do so by means of a biblical and theological argument. In its cover story for this week, "The Religious Case for Gay Marriage," Newsweek religion editor Lisa Miller offers a revisionist argument for the acceptance of same-sex marriage. It is fair to say that Newsweek has gone for broke on this question.

Miller begins with a lengthy dismissal of the Bible's relevance to the question of marriage in the first place. "Let's try for a minute to take the religious conservatives at their word and define marriage as the Bible does," Miller suggests. If so, she argues that readers will find a confusion of polygamy, strange marital practices, and worse.

She concludes: "Would any contemporary heterosexual married couple—who likely woke up on their wedding day harboring some optimistic and newfangled ideas about gender equality and romantic love—turn to the Bible as a how-to script?" She answers, "Of course not, yet the religious opponents of gay marriage would have it be so."

Now, wait just a minute. Miller's broadside attack on the biblical teachings on marriage goes to the heart of what will appear as her argument for same-sex marriage. She argues that, in the Old Testament, "examples of what social conservatives call 'the traditional family' are scarcely to be found." This is true, of course, if what you mean by 'traditional family' is the picture of America in the 1950s. The Old Testament notion of the family starts with the idea that the family is the carrier of covenant promises, and this family is defined, from the onset, as a transgenerational extended family of kin and kindred.

But, at the center of this extended family stands the institution of marriage as the most basic human model of covenantal love and commitment. And this notion of marriage, deeply rooted in its procreative purpose, is unambiguously heterosexual.

As for the New Testament, "Ozzie and Harriet are nowhere" to be found. Miller argues that both Jesus and Paul were unmarried (emphatically true) and that Jesus "preached a radical kind of family, a caring community of believers, whose bond in God superseded all blood ties." Jesus clearly did call for a commitment to the Gospel and to discipleship that transcended family commitments. Given the Jewish emphasis on family loyalty and commitment, this did represent a decisive break.

But Miller also claims that "while the Bible and Jesus say many important things about love and family, neither explicitly defines marriage as between one man and one woman." This is just patently untrue. Genesis 2:24-25 certainly reveals marriage to be, by the Creator's intention, a union of one man and one woman. To offer just one example from the teaching of Jesus, Matthew 19:1-8 makes absolutely no sense unless marriage "between one man and one woman" is understood as normative.

As for Paul, he did indeed instruct the Corinthians that the unmarried state was advantageous for the spread of the Gospel. His concern in 1 Corinthians 7 is not to elevate singleness as a lifestyle, but to encourage as many as are able to give themselves totally to an unencumbered Gospel ministry. But, in Corinth and throughout the New Testament church, the vast majority of Christians were married. Paul will himself assume this when he writes the "household codes" included in other New Testament letters.

The real issue is not marriage, Miller suggests, but opposition to homosexuality. Surprisingly, Miller argues that this prejudice against same-sex relations is really about opposition to sex between men. She cites the Anchor Bible Dictionary as stating that "nowhere in the Bible do its authors refer to sex between women." She would have done better to look to the Bible itself, where in Romans 1:26-27 Paul writes: "For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error."

Again, this passage makes absolutely no sense unless it refers very straightforwardly to same-sex relations among both men and women -- with the women mentioned first.

Miller dismisses the Levitical condemnations of homosexuality as useless because "our modern understanding of the world has surpassed its prescriptions." But she saves her most creative dismissal for the Apostle Paul. Paul, she concedes, "was tough on homosexuality."

Nevertheless, she takes encouragement from the fact that "progressive scholars" have found a way to re-interpret the Pauline passages to refer only to homosexual violence and promiscuity.

In this light she cites author Neil Elliott and his book, The Arrogance of Nations. Elliott, like other "progressive scholars," suggests that the modern notion of sexual orientation is simply missing from the biblical worldview, and thus the biblical authors are not really talking about what we know as homosexuality at all. "Paul is not talking about what we call homosexuality at all," as Miller quotes Elliott.

Of course, no honest reader of the biblical text will share this simplistic and backward conclusion. Furthermore, to accept this argument is to assume that the Christian church has misunderstood the Bible from its very birth -- and that we are now dependent upon contemporary "progressive scholars" to tell us what Christians throughout the centuries have missed.

Tellingly, Miller herself seems to lose confidence in this line of argument, explaining that "Paul argued more strenuously against divorce—and at least half of the Christians in America disregard that teaching." In other words, when the argument is failing, change the subject and just declare victory. "Religious objections to gay marriage are rooted not in the Bible at all, then, but in custom and tradition," Miller simply asserts -- apparently asking her readers to forget everything they have just read.

Miller picks her sources carefully. She cites Neil Elliott but never balances his argument with credible arguments from another scholar, such as Robert Gagnon of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary [See his response to Elliott here]. Her scholarly sources are chosen so that they all offer an uncorrected affirmation of her argument. The deck is decisively stacked.

She then moves to the claim that sexual orientation is "exactly the same thing" as skin color when it comes to discrimination. As recent events have suggested, this claim is not seen as credible by many who have suffered discrimination on the basis of skin color.

As always, the bottom line is biblical authority. Lisa Miller does not mince words. "Biblical literalists will disagree," she allows, "but the Bible is a living document, powerful for more than 2,000 years because its truths speak to us even as we change through history." This argument means, of course, that we get to decide which truths are and are not binding on us as "we change through history."

"A mature view of scriptural authority requires us, as we have in the past, to move beyond literalism," she asserts. "The Bible was written for a world so unlike our own, it's impossible to apply its rules, at face value, to ours."

All this comes together when Miller writes, "We cannot look to the Bible as a marriage manual, but we can read it for universal truths as we struggle toward a more just future." At this point the authority of the Bible is reduced to whatever "universal truths" we can distill from its (supposed) horrifyingly backward and oppressive texts.

Even as she attempts to make her "religious case" for gay marriage, Miller has to acknowledge that "very few Jewish or Christian denominations do officially endorse gay marriage, even in the states where it is legal." Her argument now grinds to a conclusion with her hope that this will change. But -- and this is a crucial point -- if her argument had adequate traction, she wouldn't have to make it. It is not a thin extreme of fundamentalist Christians who stand opposed to same-sex marriage -- it is the vast majority of Christian churches and denominations worldwide.

Disappointingly, Newsweek editor Jon Meacham offers an editorial note that broadens Newsweek's responsibility for this atrocity of an article and reveals even more of the agenda: "No matter what one thinks about gay rights—for, against or somewhere in between —this conservative resort to biblical authority is the worst kind of fundamentalism," Meacham writes. "Given the history of the making of the Scriptures and the millennia of critical attention scholars and others have given to the stories and injunctions that come to us in the Hebrew Bible and the Christian New Testament, to argue that something is so because it is in the Bible is more than intellectually bankrupt—it is unserious, and unworthy of the great Judeo-Christian tradition."

Well, that statement sets the issue clearly before us. He insists that "to argue that something is so because it is in the Bible is more than intellectually bankrupt." No serious student of the Bible can deny the challenge of responsible biblical interpretation, but the purpose of legitimate biblical interpretation is to determine, as faithfully as possible, what the Bible actually teaches -- and then to accept, teach, apply, and obey.

The national news media are collectively embarrassed by the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Gay rights activists are publicly calling on the mainstream media to offer support for gay marriage, arguing that the media let them down in November. It appears that Newsweek intends to do its part to press for same-sex marriage. Many observers believe that the main obstacle to this agenda is a resolute opposition grounded in Christian conviction. Newsweek clearly intends to reduce that opposition.

Newsweek could have offered its readers a careful and balanced review of the crucial issues related to this question. It chose another path -- and published this cover story. The magazine's readers and this controversial issue deserved better.


Here is the follow-article from a post from Dr. Mohler's blog today:

The controversy over the recent Newsweek cover story, "A Religious Case for Gay Marriage," continues. See here for my initial analysis of Miller's article.

I appeared on National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation" program yesterday, along with Lisa Miller, Newsweek's religion editor and author of the cover story.

The interview can be heard here. I appreciate Lisa Miller's candid acknowledgment of the fact that the November 4 passage of Proposition 8 in California had just about everything to do with the timing of the story. Beyond that, I appreciated her explanation of her argument for same-sex marriage. In essence, her dichotomy between those who see the Bible as a document with a "living" interpretation and whose who see it as a binding document gets to the heart of the issue. As much as no evangelical I know would ever accept the dichotomy framed this way, she does explain her own perspective well. She believes the Bible contains "universal themes" that should be preserved, but no binding rules that are to be obeyed.

That does clarify the issue. Her understanding of biblical authority (if you can even call it that) allows her to deny the truth status of passages she prefers to disregard.

Call in "Gay" Day?

Maybe you missed it where you work, but today was national "Day Without a Gay". Yes. Seriously.

Apparently, gay-rights activists are encouraging people to “call in gay” to work today to demonstrate how integral gay people are to American society. You can read more about it here at the LA Times site. From the article: The event is among scores of grass-roots activities — including protests, boycotts and marches — that have sprung up in California and across the country since the passage of Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in California, along with other anti-gay ballot initiatives in Arizona, Florida and Arkansas.

What good did it do? It's hard for me to say firsthand, but I can't see this accomplishing too much --- except to virtually shut down gay-owned businesses. Hardly a ripple here!

But why the special attention to this one particular sexual behavior and those who indulge in it? I'm just wondering when we get the national "Day without an Adulterer" when all the people cheating on their spouses call in. Or maybe the "Day without a Porno Addict". Or maybe the "Day without a Polygamist" (granted - less popular than the other others). What about the Day without a Pedophile"? That would be telling, wouldn't it? I'm not trying to be the angry anti-gay guy here. I'm really not. I just honestly don't understand why one's sexual choices should be so publicly flaunted and forced upon us for our acceptance.

I also cannot accept that who you choose to have sex with defines you in the same way your RACE or GENDER does. From the article: It was first proposed by Los Angeles Times columnist Joel Stein and is patterned after the 2006 "A Day Without a Mexican" work stoppage.

You see the inference here? You get this right? Participating in homosexual acts is the same level of self-identification and reality as being Mexican. Anybody else have a fundamental problem with this? Just last month, we saw t-shirts like these popping up:

As I saw this nonsense, I wondered (and still do) - are there any black people offended by this? I mean the black struggle in America for basic human rights, then equal rights has been a long and painful and well-documented reality. And pardon my simpleness here, but you don't choose to be born black. Or white. That's rather intrinsic, isn't it? Save Navin Johnson, I don't know of anyone who came to a later-in-life realization that he was actually white - or black. It's rather apparent. One's race is inherent, congenital, hereditary, innate, elemental ... shall I go on?

But of course, that is the whole point of the gay-activist strategy. Get the public to equate one's sexual activity and preferences with unchangeable, natural, inherent categories such as gender or race and eliminate forever any allowable bias against them. Make it a civil rights struggle like African Americans faced in this country. No one wants to be on the wrong side of that again, right? Can you imagine your pastor getting up on Sunday and declaring people guilty of the sin of being born black? Or white? (Yes, I know there are idiot white supremacist churches who do the former and famous Chicago churches of president-elects that do the latter, but MOST of us would never stand for such obvious nonsense, and would quickly leave - or worse.) Well imagine what happens when society - first practically and then legally - equates race with sexual preference. What will happen to the church that believes homosexuality is clearly and obviously denounced in Scripture? (Newsweek's recent cover article, not withstanding ... more on that tomorrow) What happens to the pastor who calls it sin?

But I digress ... what I REALLY wanted to ask is this: What would happen if we had a national call in CHRISTIAN day? No, wait. Don't call in and then don't show up. Instead, show up and stand up and be counted as a Christian. Let's have a national I-am-not-ashamed-of-the-Gospel day where every Christian proudly acts and talks like a Christ-follower and shares their faith in meaningful ways. While we're at it, let's make it EVERY DAY.

Ok - rant done.

Peace.

Not ready for Christmas, yet.

This picture sums up my "Christmas spirit" at the moment. If Cecilia asked me to put up those lights I have stored somewhere in the garage, this is probably the result she'd get.

I am sure it will get better as I re-read the Christmas story (several times), listen to music, prepare for worship services, et al. But right now, I am tired and worn out. Mark's autism has taken a toll on us all and we are all cracking under the pressure.

It is times like this that I have to - pardon the cliched but true phrase - practice what I preach. I tell people all the time that you cannot go with what you feel or your "gut". You have to go with what is true. You can't evaluate God simply based on your current experiences, but on who He is, what He has done, and what He promises. Romans 8:28 is an easier verse in theory than in the reality of enduring mondo-stress. ("And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.") So that means - as I have often told others and am now telling myself - even when I can't see how or imagine why, everything that is happening in my life is under the control of a loving Father who is working it out for my good. Right now, I don't feel it. But I know I cannot trust what I "feel" for my feelings rarely, if ever, have the whole story. Today I am reminding myself (and you, if this helps) WHEN YOU CAN'T TRACE HIS HAND, TRUST HIS HEART. (Thanks Max Lucado)

It's going to get better.

Could you ignore this beach?

See this beach above this post?  Pretty spectacular, isn't it?  The golden brown sand, the turquoise water, the clear blue sky ... kinda makes you want to take a vacation, right?  Or at least makes you wish for some tropical weather wherever you are.

You might think I picked this beach from stock photos online, simply because it's so picturesque, but I didn't.  It's actually a picture taken on Hutchinson Island, Jensen Beach, FL, just a couple of miles from where I live and where I have lived for about 12 years now.  

So - what's the point?  Well ... I was thinking as I logged on tonight that I hardly ever see that beach.  The last time I was there was to baptize 22 people last month, and before that, the beginning of the summer, and before that - well, it had been awhile.  I like knowing it's there and I can't imagine living anywhere a beach isn't close by, but I still rarely walk on it, enjoy it, or even give it a thought most days.  There is just something about human nature that seems to cause us to undervalue and underappreciate the incredible stuff that is right under our noses!  Even as I just KNOW I will one day miss this beach and regret not taking a day off occasionally and sitting on it reading - another love I have that I rarely engage in anymore - but still I don't go.  

It's not just nearby beaches that we ignore and take for granted.  (It can also be mountains - which i sorely miss from my Mars Hill College/UNC Asheville days, but I digress.)  Sometimes it is gifts far more valuable and far more fleeting.  Like kids.  Family.  Spouses.  They are sooo close by, and even as we KNOW we will one day regret not squeezing every ounce of time we can with them, we don't.  We're too busy.  "Life" is too demanding.  But what are we doing?  I mean, really - what are we doing?  Will we even remember what kept us so busy or took so much time or precedence for us way back when?  I doubt it.  I can't even remember what took my time away from those I love last week.  

I am admittedly probably writing more for my benefit than yours, but here's what I think.  I think you ought to take stock of the good stuff all around you.  People.  Family.  Friends.  And then the other stuff - like the beach you wish you'd walked on more, or the trail you wished you'd climbed, or the whatever you wish you had whatevered.  And then I think you ought to do now what it is you will wish you had done later.  

That's what I'm going to do.  Tomorrow, instead of shopping for stuff nobody needs and spending money I don't have with 18 million psycho, over-caffeinated, door-busting, early-rising, kamikaze shoppers, I'm going to take my dog to that beach.  And then I'm going to watch a movie with my kids.  And then I'm going out with my wife.  And I'm going to be glad - at least for tomorrow - that I didn't ignore what God has given me.  

Happy Thanksgiving.

Autism and Faith

What challenges your theology? I mean, what causes you to seriously evaluate your personal belief systems? Has anything ever pushed it to the limit? Anything ever made you struggle with doubt and confusion? If it has not yet, it probably will.

My son Mark challenges mine. Like any proud father, I had dreams and ambitions for my son even prior to his birth. I imagined his accomplishments and impact on this world. He was to be the third “arrow” fired from my bow. (Psalm 127:4). Then, autism shook my faith. I asked a million times, “Why, God?” I wondered to myself, “Is this punishment for my sins?” Later I would agonize over prayers for healing that went seemingly unanswered. I wondered (if only to myself) “God, do you still heal?” I learned that it is often easier to say the right things than to feel them or even believe them. It developed into a full-blown crisis of faith – no doubt. But then, God began to teach me. He began teaching me that my anguish is not the whole issue. It is my response to it. I had a fundamental choice. Would I continue to trust in the goodness and mercy and plans of God as I always had, or would I depart from my faith because of my situation? I chose the former.

I began to see other people’s struggles in a different light. I began to be (I hope) more compassionate. I began to see that people everywhere have issues and struggles that confront their faith. They may carry different names (like autism, cancer, addiction, etc.) but they all challenge us to get real with our faith or to get rid of it as false. I think life is too hard for false religion.

I perceive Mark differently now. You see, Mark is a remarkable child. He is intelligent, but you have to play close attention if you want to see it. He is full of love, but you will miss it if all you hear are words. He is insightful, always noticing everything around him, but because he is often silent, he himself goes unnoticed. I also see how he affects people. How he draws out the best in us. How he brings out love. He is God’s special gift and he is a sharp arrow that God is using.

Your crisis of faith – your personal theological mountain to climb – will either bring you to a place of profound rest in God, or it will drive you from the one place where you can find peace. If you cannot trust in God, in whom or what can you trust? I have decided to trust in Him.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
- Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)

Seriously. What is this?

Pardon the totally worthless blog post today, but I have to know something.  What is this thing Fox Sports punishes us with during every football game?  

I mean seriously.  What is the point?  Has there ever been ANY icon/image/mascot more annoying than this?  And it gets worse.  On Thanksgiving, he'll be dressed as a turkey or something.  I don't get it.  Somebody help me with this.

Thanksgiving Safety Advice

Some of you are probably planning to cook your Thanksgiving turkey a little differently than the old, tried and true - certain to create a dry, barely edible bird - method of oven roasting.  Perhaps you will go the route of deep-frying.  It is certainly gaining in popularity and will make you seem a lot cooler to the kids.  If you do, allow me (and my safety-conscious brother) to offer you the following illustrated safety tips:

1) Make sure you are properly attired.  You will be working with several gallons of boiling peanut oil.  Notice here the bare feet and my brother standing at a distance.  He probably fears that the raging open flame of my gas cooker will ignite an explosion from the car that is just inches outside this picture.  I think the lawn mower is pretty close, too.  And maybe some old newspapers.

2. To insure even cooking and good coverage of the bird, hold it high over the boiling oil and drop it quickly into the pot.  Yes - oil will splash out all over you, but you know the saying ... you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet (or something like that).   At least my elbow is protected.

3. Have a buddy.  Or a brother.  Somebody to share the moment with you.  You will definitely want to stare at the turkey until its done.  It's fascinating.  No seriously.  It is.  Trust me.  Don't miss a second.  

4. Finally, be prepared for the unexpected.  You'll notice my brother has a large, sharp knife in his hand.  I'm really not sure why.  I'm pretty sure the turkey was dead.  Yes, I'm positive now that I think of it.  You will also notice that he too is barefooted.  And that we are standing downhill on a sloped driveway.  When that oil boils over - and it will - guess where it's going.  Oh - and I nearly forgot.  Wear clothes you don't mind ruining.  You'll notice I am wearing a t-shirt that has absolutely no value to me. 

And for those of you up nawth --- be jealous.  Be very jealous.  Yes - we are cooking a turkey outside, in late November, barefooted.  (I can't tell from this picture, but I think my brother may be wearing swim trunks.  Or boxers.  Can't really say.)

This year, maybe we'll make an instructional video.

Not sold on The Shack

I was invited by a good friend to read The Shack this summer. I knew it was rising on the bestseller lists, but I'm not a big follower of trendy reads, nor am I a fan of fiction. Occasionally I'll read some vapid, just-for-fun stuff on vacation, but my time is so limited, I have to pretty much limit myself to reading stuff that matters. But after being challenged to "open my mind and turn off my superior theological knowledge", I knew I had to read this. When I got the book and read this outrageous endorsement right there on the bottom of the front cover "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his", I knew I had to jump in immediately. After all, Pilgrim's Progress is one of my all-time favorite books, having greatly influenced me and millions of others. I mean it is a legitimate classic of the faith. So I started reading. Better late than never right? But before I share my thoughts on this book with you, allow me to pass along some reviews of some pastors/theologians/teachers whom I respect very much. These men are prominent, respected, well-read champions of the faith. I say that to say their opinions ought to matter to you. Even if you don't agree, carefully and thoughtfully consider what they have to say.


You can view Mark Driscoll's comments on video here. He is an author and well-known pastor, leading Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. If I knew how to imbed this, I would. Take a moment to watch this - it's worth it.


Dr. Michael Youseff, founding pastor of The Church of The Apostles and author of more than 20 books, the most recent being 15 Secrets to a Wonderful Life, reveals 13 heresies in The Shack. In his article on the book, he states:

"After reading the popular novel, The Shack, I find it necessary to bring to light some of its errors. The book is like a deep ditch covered with beautiful flowers — and sadly, many Christians are falling into this ditch."

"One of the most devastating aspects of this book, The Shack, is the absolute disrespect and disregard for God by the main character. When Isaiah saw a glimpse of God's glory, he was so overwhelmed that he cried out, "Woe to me for I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips and dwell in the midst of people who of unclean lips. For my eyes have seen the king, the Lord of Hosts."

"The author of The Shack not only presents a false view of God; he mocks the importance and the uniqueness of the Bible. He makes the Bible equal to whatever your personal imagination says about God."

You can view Dr. Youseff's entire message here. You can also download his comparison chart that reveals the 13 heresies.


Next, here's some of what prominent theologian Norman Geisler -- who is a Christian apologist and philosopher and serves as President of Southern Evangelical Seminary, in Charlotte, NC -- has to say about The Shack:

The Shack may do well for many in engaging the current culture, but not without compromising Christian truth. The book may be psychologically helpful to many who read it, but it is doctrinally harmful to all who are exposed to it. It has a false understanding of God, the Trinity, the person and work of Christ, the nature of man, the institution of the family and marriage, and the nature of the Gospel. For those not trained in orthodox Christian doctrine, this book is very dangerous. It promises good news for the suffering but undermines the only Good News (the Gospel) about Christ suffering for us. In the final analysis it is only truth that is truly liberating. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32). A lie may make one feel better, but only until he discovers the truth. This book falls short on many important Christian doctrines. It promises to transform people’s lives, but it lacks the transforming power of the Word of God (Heb. 4:12) and the community of believers (Heb. 10:25). In the final analysis, this book is not a Pilgrim’s Progress, but doctrinally speaking The Shack is more of a Pilgrim’s Regress.

Next up is Al Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, and one of the respected author/thinker/theologians of our time. He said this about The Shack:

“This book includes undiluted heresy."  

"This book simply, by any measure, falls far short of biblical Christianity.” 

“Regardless of intention (I can’t read the [author's] heart), I can tell you that the effect of the book is indeed deeply subversive of the Christian faith, and I think inherently seductive as well.”

You can listen to his entire radio program on the subject here.


In yet another thorough review of the book, author (The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment) Tim Challies states:

"... from beginning to end, The Shack has a quietly subversive quality to it. The author very subtly criticizes many aspects of the church and contemporary Christianity before replacing the concepts he criticizes with new ones. He criticizes seminary education (“Mack struggled to keep up with [Papa], to make some sense of what was happening. None of his old seminary training was helping in the least” (91).), the Bible (“God’s voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects” (65-66).), Sunday School (“This isn’t Sunday School. This is a flying lesson” (98).), the church as a body (“You’re talking about the church as this woman you’re in love with; I’m pretty sure I haven’t met her…She’s not the place I go on Sundays” (177).), the church as individuals (“For Mack these words were like a breath of fresh air! Simple. Not a bunch of exhausting work and long list of demands and not the sitting in endless meetings staring at the backs of people’s heads, people he really didn’t even know. Just sharing life” (178).), family devotions (“Images of family devotions from his childhood came spilling into his mind, not exactly good memories…He half expected Jesus to pull out a huge old King James Bible” (107).), theological certainty (“I have a great fondness for uncertainty [said Sarayu]” (203).), the word “Christian” as a descriptor (“Who said anything about being a Christian? I'm not a Christian [said Jesus]” (182).) and on and on." (parts in bold mine)

"Despite the Bible's testimony to its own unique qualities, the majority of The Shack's references to Scripture are negative in their tone. They do not affirm the Bible as God’s perfect revelation to us, but instead focus on its abuse at the hands of those who profess Christ or on supposed old-fashioned notions about it."

"We are left with an incomplete gospel; a gospel message that says little of sin and of justice. It is a gospel message that says nothing of how we may be saved from the sin that pollutes us. The Shack also muddles the concept of redemption."

"Taken together, Young’s muddying of redemption and his incomplete gospel message presents a troubling view of salvation. The Shack certainly does not make plain what is made plain in the Bible--that Jesus Christ is the one and the only way to be reconciled to the Father and this only by faith in Him. The book presents less than the full gospel message. It teaches that God died for the sins of the whole world and that He now waits for us to respond to this potential gift. It teaches that God does not punish sin, but that sin is sufficient punishment in itself. It opens the possibility that people can come to God in ways other than a saving faith in Jesus Christ. It obfuscates the doctrine of salvation that the Bible makes so clear and so central. It muddies the very heart of the faith."

You can read and download Tim's entire review here.


He describes much of what I also have noticed: How Young's book badly misses the mark in describing the Trinity, how "God" is depicted in anthropomorphic ways that render him less of a God and more of a peer - a peer who can be angrily shouted at and even cursed at. Young's book also diminishes the very character, nature and holiness of God. Young's "God" is largely impotent: "I have no magic wand to wave over you and make it all better." (p. 92) He is also devoid of other attributes of sovereignty such as omniscience: "The three (Young's bizarre "trinity") looked at each other as if they had never thought of such a question" (p. 121). Orthodox and clear teaching on salvation, redemption and atonement are also dreadfully lacking. Most noticeable to me (and offensive as well) is the underlying current of the book that implies that all you know, have been taught, and/or believed is not true.

While many Christians have enjoyed and may yet enjoy the book, understand that to do so means they must filter what Young says and re-interpret it to fit orthodoxy. We as bible-believing Christians take what he has said and view it thru lenses of what we already know and believe, but taken alone, it is at best confusing theologically (think of a novice Christian or a non-Christian reading this ... could they understand the real Gospel? Could they understand Biblical salvation? Would they revere the Word of God? Would they love the Bride of Christ - the Church? Or would they be confused by this new age rethink of the Gospel?) and is at worst heresy and blatant deception.

In the end, I found the Shack to present a impotent, insufficient, unknowing, all-too-human "God" that looks little like the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient Creator, Savior, Judge, King of the Bible.

Take some time to read what these intellectual/theological/spiritual giants have said and consider carefully The Shack. These are not pop preachers with dubious theology or (or no theological training at all). These are biblical, theological stalwarts that are influencing, teaching, and leading millions.  These are heavyweights in the arena of the ongoing battle for truth.

On a final note: Do yourself a favor and go get a copy of Pilgrim's Progress and read it a few times. You won't be disappointed.

Porn Again Christian

If you look at porn, have looked at porn, or know someone that looks at porn —download this book, print it out, and read it. Be forewarned: It is blunt, pointed, and untamed. But if you are struggling with this powerfully addictive sin (or you care about someone who is), this tool might be just what you or they need.

This resource by the outstanding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Mark Driscoll is available online as a FREE DOWNLOAD.

NOTE: This booklet is aimed at MEN and includes very frank discussions and Q and A's. Thanks for not pulling your punches Mark.


Here is Mark's note on the book from his facebook page:

I became a Christian at the age of nineteen, started doing ministry as a Bible study leader almost immediately, and planted Mars Hill Church in the fall of 1996 at the age of twenty-five. Prior to my conversion, I had been sexually active and looked at porn. These were the first sins I remember being deeply convicted of as a new Christian and by God’s grace I have been able to walk away from those sins and to Jesus.

Over the years, much of my ministry has been to men in general, and young, single men in particular. The least likely person to go to church in virtually every nation, including my own, is a single man between the ages of eighteen and thirty-four. These guys are a priority for me.

As our church began growing, I started pulling these guys together for “boot camps” to speak to them off the record with plain speech about real issues of being men. The guys were responsive and very few had a dad, let alone a Christian dad, and they were clueless about why God made men.

What started as a handful of guys has now grown to a large church that is half single and half married, half male and half female. We have thousands of single men ages eighteen to thirty-four who call Mars Hill home, which is a miracle since we are in one of the least churched cities in our nation and statistically the least likely city in the nation where these guys would attend church. Most of them are new Christians who meet Jesus while in sexual sin of every sort and are fighting to get dominion over their pants.

To help these guys, some years ago I sat down and in one day wrote a small booklet about male sexuality that we published in-house. Since then we have gone through thousands of copies and literally cannot keep it in stock. I asked some Christian publishers if they wanted it, and they said it was too hot to handle and so they declined.

So, I decided to just put it online and give it away for free. I hope this thing goes nuts and hundreds of thousands of guys read it.

In closing, I want to say two things. One, a lot of folks will not like the content or tone of this book and I love them and wish them well. You get what you pay for and this is free. Two, a lot of young guys (and some older guys too) tell me they have been helped by this content and if God uses it to help some guys I would be overjoyed with that. So, let the critics fire away and I’ll gladly take the shots for the guys who are walking wounded in an effort to help them get their shield up and sword sharpened.

Until we see Jesus,
Pastor Mark Driscoll

Can you be good without God?

From an article on foxnews.com:

You better watch out. There is a new combatant in the Christmas wars.
Ads proclaiming, "Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake," will appear on Washington, D.C., buses starting next week and running through December. The American Humanist Association unveiled the provocative $40,000 holiday ad campaign Tuesday.

The provocative ad campaign begs the question: Can you be good without God?

One of the most contentious debates I ever had with a self-avowed "atheist" (I use quotations because he was actually an agnostic - he wasn't sure what he believed, nor did he - like most so-called "atheists" even really understand the distinction) was on the subject of "goodness".  My basic premise was simple - God is good defined, and as such, He is the basis of all human morality (goodness).  Therefore, the absence of God is the necessary absence of good.  He vehemently argued otherwise.  It was a great offense to him (feigned or real - I cannot be sure) that I would imply or suggest that atheists could not be "good people" - even better than most Christians he had ever known, he claimed.  

The real issue here of course is what we mean by "good".  What is the standard or measurement?  Is it subjective - whatever I deem goodness to be - or is it objective - based on a timeless standard or truth?  I argue for the latter.  

What's your take?  What does it mean to be "good"?  And is God a necessary component of human goodness?  I'm putting this one up on the tee to see who wants to take a swing at it.  I'll opine later!

"10 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage"

I saw this article online today and thought I'd offer a little counter opinion. Now, I am no marriage counselor, psychologist, or even an expert on the subject. I have stresses and struggles in my marriage like anyone else. But one thing I do have is the pastoral perspective forged from the impact of many conversations with people whose marriages are in great duress, or who have already divorced and are now trying to recover. So with my limited experience in mind (and armed with a few pertinent verses from the Bible) I want to offer a slightly revised list of the ten bad habits. First however is the afore-mentioned list from "LifeScript":


1. Not having sex.

2. Letting yourself go.

3. Spending too much time with the in-laws

4. Spending too much time with friends, work, hobbies

5. Not consulting your partner about purchases

6. Forgetting the small gestures

7. Criticizing and nagging endlessly

8. Always playing the victim

9. Sweating the small stuff

10. Not fighting fair



Now ... here humbly submitted is my list:

1. Pornography.
Far and away the biggest marriage killer I see is pornography. Often touted now by the so-called "experts" as a marital aid or a tool to rekindle a passionless marriage, it is in fact a deadly fire that destroys individuals and families. The above list mentions absence of sex as a marriage killer. Let me offer you this: Women, if your husbands are disinterested in sex (and are physically able to perform) then I would seriously question where they are meeting their sexual needs. Pornography is much more common than most (especially Christians) imagine. And women, one of the best tools you have in protecting your family from pornography (in addition to openness and accountability) is to have sex with your husband. Look at what scripture says on the issue of sex within marriage - addressed to both partners:

1 Cor. 7:3-5 (NLT)

The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife. So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterward they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.

2. Unforgiveness.
A marriage cannot survive if there is not a lot of grace and forgiveness. Anyone married more than 8 minutes will be able to tell you that you will have lots of opportunities to forgive. If we are not diligent about generously offering forgiveness, we will tend to compile lists of offenses that infect every part of our relationship and eventually spew over into mega-conflicts that were started over seemingly insignificant issues - all because we have not ever forgiven and still hold grudges and griefs against our spouse. Forgiveness does not mean granting the right to be hurt in the same way again, but it does mean "cancelling the debt" - as in you no longer expect them to do anything to make up for what they have done, nor do you still desire any retribution or vengeance. Bitterness is a nasty root that chokes out love and commitment. Even the healthiest marriages have to guard themselves from its pervasive influence.

Col. 3:13 (NIV)

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

3. Secrecy.
It is in the secret places of our lives that we are most prone to failure and unfaithfulness. Spouses who keep things from their partners are setting themselves up for temptations and pressures that they otherwise have easily avoided. Money spent, saved, or used that the other person knows nothing of ... trips taken with details of time place and company excluded ... friends that the other doesn't know ... or time spent online with no accountability or history to check up on ... all are warning signs of potential infidelity. I cannot tell you how many times I have talked to a teary-eyed spouse (male and female) who tell me that they "never knew ..." They never knew their spouse was wasting thousands of dollars a year on drugs, an affair, etc. They never knew their spouse wasn't really working late, but was violating their marriage vows, etc. I think you get the point. Secrecy is the arch-enemy of intimacy. Intimacy is that great condition of life where one is fully known, and yet still loved. Intimacy is the long-term glue that holds a marriage together in all types of difficulty. Intimacy describes how God loves us and how we must love our marriage partners:

Ephes. 5:25-31 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

4. Stupid Spending
It seems so mundane and not on the high spiritual/moral plane as the others on this list, but it still packs a powerful punch when it comes to destroying marriages. Simply put, life has enough problems and stresses of its own for us not to create financial difficulty for ourselves on top of them. When couples get themselves in debt over unwise spending (It is my opinion opinion that our economic crisis in America is largely a moral crisis - we are never satisfied with what we have, we overspend our incomes, and we don't have a clue what the Bible says about money) it adds enormous stress to their marriages. I read that more arguments happen in a marriage over money that over any other single subject. If you are in debt, you need to get help developing a plan right now to get out. If you are overspending your income and using credit cards without fully paying them off each month, you need to stop and make plans now to get out of that cycle. Think about the impact your spending is having on the health of your marriage. Ask yourself: how different would my relationship with my wife/husband be if we had no debt?

Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.

5. Disjointed Parenting.
If you have children and you and your spouse do not fundamentally and philosophically agree about how best to parent them and if you do not fully and openly support each other's parenting decisions, you will have conflict. Guaranteed. You are a team. Your kids are also on your team (although they sometimes play it like they are lined up on the other side of the scrimmage line.) But being a parent is hard stuff. It is a constant challenge. And no matter what sweet little dolls you have - they will work any angle they can to get what they want from you. And if they sense a crack in the partnership of the parents, they will exploit that crack - playing one off against the other. You must work this out! Decide to not argue about the kids or about parenting/discipline issues in front of the kids. Ever. Determine to talk thru all of this in private. respect the insights and natural gifts of both parents. I grew up in a single parent (mom) home, but I still know it is God's best to have the influence of both mom and dad. And always support the other spouse in front of the kids. Disagree in private later. (Now some knucklehead will write something stupid to me asking about abuse, etc. and my comment about "always supporting". Get a clue. I am talking about parenting that is godly and interested in the best for the child. If you have an abusive spouse, get out, get help, and call the police.)

Deut. 4:9 (NIV)

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

6. Selfishness.
I have to be honest with you. I am sick and tired of hearing people (both men and women) try to justify their unfaithfulness and adultery by saying something like, "I just want to be happy." Even worse are the ones who blasphemously invoke God in the equation: "I know God wants me to be happy". What God wants (and expects) is that you be faithful to your commitments and be holy (set apart from this unholy world). It is a great tragedy that divorce rates in the church mirror those of the lost world. It says we have bought wholesale into the world's selfish philosophy that our personal pleasure and happiness is the highest pursuit of life. And the real tragedy is that in the process we trade in the potential of real and lasting joy (by living life God's way) for a vapor that promises happiness but is ultimately deceptive and fleeting. May I remind you that REAL love is OTHER PERSON FOCUSED? When you commit to a covenant of marriage, you commit to giving serving and loving the other person - even if it hurts. That is sacrificial love (Remember Jesus, anyone?). And love is not just a feeling. It is a choice. And in that daily choosing, real love grows.

1 Cor. 13:4-8a (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

7. Wrong priorities.
Your most important life commitment (if you are a Christian) is to God. If he is number one, your choices, use of time, use of money, etc. will all reflect it. Number two is to your spouse. No other earthly relationship holds as much promise for reward or as much accountability before God as this one. At least in this area, the above secular list was teetering near correctness. A healthy marriage requires a prioritization of time and energy and desire. A lot of marriages simply diminish over time because all the effort went into building something else - a business, kids, even church stuff. Kids are awesome - kids are great. They are a gift from God and my chance to leave a lasting legacy. But they are not as important as my wife. She is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh as the Bible says. Our relationship is the only one that is God-designed to mimic His relationship with His people - the Church. In practical terms, that means I better devote the time and passion and resources into constantly building my marriage up. Date nights, prayer together, sex, communication, etc.

Eccles. 9:9 (NLT)

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you in this world. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.

8. Pride.
Every marriage needs help at some point. Every married couple could use a good counselor every now and then. It does not necessarily have to be a formal counseling session in an office somewhere. It could be with a good mentoring couple, or a minister. But there may be a time where ongoing counseling help in a formal setting is necessary. What keeps us from getting the help we need? Pride. I have a basic philosophy about people I counsel who have marriage problems. I'm not always right about this, but I am correct far more often than not: By the time the people come to see me, the problems are wayyyyy beyond bad. In fact, most come to see me after a split or a filing for divorce has already happened. You better get over your pride and fast. We all need help every now and again. And the way I see it is this: I will do whatever it takes to keep my marriage whole and healthy. Some of you (speaking to men, here) are just too stubborn and proud to admit that you don't have all the answers and that your marriage is not all you want people to think it is. Satan loves pride and the silence in the face of struggle it produces.

Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

9. Sleeping in on Sundays.
According to the National Survey of Family Growth, divorce rates are 56% less for people who regularly attend church than for those who don't. Obviously church attendance is not a panacea, and I would also offer than attending a false church is worse than no church at all, but this survey does indicate one important truth: Couples who care about their spiritual lives and who worship and pray and serve together are generally much happier and more successful than their counterparts who do not. Active Christian couples recognize that their own spiritual condition and their relationship with God is the most important factor in the health of their marriages. Simply put - if I am not right with God, I will not be right with others. If my spiritual life is lacking, it will affect all of my other relationships. What is the "secret" for many happy marriages? God.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (Msg)

Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

10. Staying lost.
The key to me for the success of my marriage is knowing Christ. Without Him, His Word, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I would not have the ability or even desire to love as God wants me to love. Without him, my marriage would be -at best - only a shadow of what it could be with Him as Lord of my life. Christ enables me to be forgiven and forgiving. To receive mercy and be merciful. To know and receive intimacy. To have internal peace that leads to external peace. to know Gods love for me is the most formative and instructional aspect of building and maintaining a happy healthy marriage. God is the 3rd partner in our covenant and sometimes He alone holds it all together!

Ephes. 5:31-32 (NIV)

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

The real face of "tolerance" in America?

Have you seen this video? Notice the intimidation, aggression, intolerance and even violence by a group of mostly "men" fomented against a solitary older woman who was exercising her free and legitimate right to make her opinion known.

It is a shocking display of disregard for 1) The fair and legal vote that allowed the passage of proposition 8 in California, 2) Our Christian faith (notice the violent stomping on the cross after it was ripped from the grip of this elderly woman - can you imagine the news coverage this would have gotten if that cross had been a copy of the Quran?), and 3) This woman's physical and emotional safety. At what point did the civil rights of those who support traditional marriage evaporate?


Shortly after wisely defeating proposition 8 in California, thousands begin protesting. From one source: Angry crowds thronged the streets in central West Hollywood, the heart of Los Angeles' gay community, chanting slogans and waving signs. "Stop the hate in 2008!" went one chant. "Keep religion out of my Constitution!" was another. Protester Jason Louis wrote the words "I am a victim of H-8" (H for Hate) on his bare chest.

Today, thousands more will be protesting again outside the Mormon Temple in Los Angeles (the gay community disproportionately blames Mormons for putting the resources in place and getting out the vote to pass this proposition). Who knows if these protests will also turn to violence and frightening aggression at any and all who disagree with the gay community and their agenda? And make no mistake - today it is the LDS church, tomorrow it will be Catholics, Baptists, and any other religious group that stands for a traditional (and biblical) definition of marriage.

The hate and vitriol is amazing and frightening. From one blog: "Burn their f---ing churches to the ground, and then tax the charred timbers" Here are a few other gems: "I'm going to give them something to be f---ing scared of. … I'm a radical who is now on a mission to make them all pay for what they've done," wrote "Jonathan." On yet another site, "Americablog," "scottinsf" wrote, "Trust me. I've got a big list of names of mormons and catholics that were big supporters of Prop 8. … As far as mormons and catholics … I warn them to watch their backs."

From worldnetdaily: Matt Barber, director of cultural affairs for Liberty Counsel, called the statements "hate crimes" for their intent to create violence against someone based on their beliefs. "This is not just a matter of some people blowing off steam because they're not happy with a political outcome. This is criminal activity," he said. "The homosexual lobby is always calling for 'tolerance' and 'diversity' and playing the role of victim. They claim to deplore violence and 'hate.' Here we have homosexuals inciting, and directly threatening, violence against Christians. This is not free speech; these are 'hate crimes' under the existing definition. Imagine if Christian websites were advocating such violence against homosexuals. There'd be outrage, and rightfully so. It'd be national front-page news. Federal authorities should immediately investigate these threats and prosecute the perpetrators to the fullest extent of the law."

For a group of people that claims to only desire tolerance, civility, and equal rights, these protests, statements, and this video-taped attack show that for the liberal far left of American culture and values, "tolerance" is a one way street.

Take a minute today to thank a veteran

I remember the first time I saw the WWII Memorial in Washington DC. I was amazed by the size and scope of it, and could not help but stop and take in as much as I could. I was struck by the Pavilions, the Freedom Wall, and the Field of Stars. I read the historic quotes and considered the massive sacrifices made during a grander time of our nation's history. As I stood there with my son Daniel, I was emotionally moved, just thinking of the enormity of the struggle and the millions who served. But it wasn't until I saw an older couple taking pictures near us, that I really was lost in a flood of emotion. He was wearing his WWII veteran cap and she was taking his picture. He looked like the quintessential grandfather. He could've been mine or yours or anyone's. I walked over and offered to take pictures of them together, which they appreciated. Before I did, however, I shook his hand and simply told him thank you. "Thank you for serving our country", I said. I wasn't prepared for the response. He took my hand in his, holding the grip as he told me thank you in return. Moved to tears by a simple act of appreciation he said, "Thank you, young man. You don't know how much that means to me." I walked off crying (like I am about to right now recalling this). I looked back and saw that he stayed there a while with his wife, arm around her, in apparent silence - simply looking and remembering. I decided that day that I would - at every opportunity - thank every veteran I see for their service.

Thank a veteran today. His/her gift of service is priceless.

"War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing he cares about more than his personal safety; is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. "
- John Stuart Mill, English philosopher

Turn up your radio!

On Monday, November 17, I am beginning a new daily radio program on 89.9 FM (WCNO) called - "Consider This".  I will be on daily (M-F) from 11:45 - 12 noon, immediately preceding Focus on the Family.  Copies of the program will also be available soon thereafter on our website.

It's been a hectic week, and I neglected to blog for a number of reasons.  1) I grew tired of daily political discussions and just didn't feel like talking about that anymore (plus, I needed some time to process all that happened in our world last week), and 2) I've been really busy making plans for our 2009 Vision Sunday which is just a couple weeks away.  I believe God has some big plans in mind for us at First Baptist Jensen Beach!

For those of you who still stop by the blog with some regularity - thanks!  Look for daily entries beginning on Monday of this week.  Also, if you have some suggestions for the daily radio program, let me know.  I want it to be worth your time to listen to and worth passing word along to others.    I look forward to having another way to get out the Good News!

Do me a favor and answer my short poll to the right.  I'm interested in how many of you listen to Christian radio.  Thanks!

Sometimes I wonder if I'm kicking the donkey ...

Are you familiar with the story of Balaam and his donkey? Actually, the donkey should get top billing, I suppose, but I digress. Here's the account from the Old Testament book of Numbers:

Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.

Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. Then the Lord opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"

"No," he said.

Then the Lord opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown. The angel of the Lord asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her."

- Numbers 22:21-33 (NIV)

The scene is almost comical, but deadly serious at the same time. Can you picture this frustrated guy not getting his donkey to do what he wanted it to do? Can you picture him kicking it, then hitting it, and finally beating it, simply because it would not move? I love the imagery: First the donkey turns off the road into a field, then the donkey crushes his foot against a wall, pinning him so he can't move, and finally the donkey just lays down, with crazy Balaam on top.

Have you ever gotten really frustrated at the way your life is going? Have you ever felt - metaphorically at least - like Balaam in this story? That no matter what you do, you just can't win? You just can't seem to get things going your way. You just can't seem to "move the donkey"? And we kick, don't we? And we curse. And we get infuriated at our circumstances. And we will even turn on those we have known and trusted for years. But sometimes, God uses donkeys. Sometimes, that 'donkey' is there to make you slow down and reconsider what you are doing, or how you are living. Sometimes that 'donkey' is there to let you know you need to turn off the path your own - even if it means going far afield from where you were headed. Sometimes, that 'donkey' - even though it causes pain or injury - is saving you from greater pain or injury. And sometimes that 'donkey' is saving your life by keeping you from going full steam ahead into disaster and destruction.

I am glad that God occasionally sends a 'donkey' or two into my life. And while I well know that not all opposition is a reminder from God to reconsider my ways (sometimes opposition is a test of may faith and obedience ... I have to pray for discernment to know the difference) sometimes God has to go to extreme measures to get our attention. Sometimes He sends people, events, or situations into our lives to stop us dead in our tracks.

You hearing me?

Some of you (because I sure know I have) are kicking the donkey right now. God is doing all he can to save you from yourself, your choices, and the future that lies ahead on your unchanged path. What Balaam didn't know, the donkey did. What Balaam couldn't see, the donkey could. And with God himself opposing Balaam - it was a donkey who saved him.

Maybe - just maybe - the "stuff" of your life lately that has been increasingly hard to handle, and even harder to figure out is a not-so-subtle message from God. Maybe that faithful friend who is now playing the role of corrector/exhorter is a Godsend. And maybe that "donkey" you are kicking is there to save you!

When God FINALLY got Balaam's undivided attention (a talking donkey tends to do that), Balaam responded to God's will and direction. Look at what he said:

Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

- Numbers 22:34 (NIV)

If you feel the opposition of God ... stop what you are doing, get off the 'donkey', and ask God if He is displeased with anythibg in your and if He wants you to turn around. Trust in Him and what He sees and knows. His way is life, hope, and healing.